Book Review: We Consciousness by Karen Noe

On August 30, 2015 I was in my kitchen cleaning, when out of the blue Dr. Wayne Dyer popped into my head. I thought about meeting him "by chance" in 2013, and being able to thank him in person for changing my life. I finished my cleaning, went into the living room, opened up Facebook on my phone and read Doreen Virtue's post that he had passed to spirit. 

I knew my sudden thought of Wayne was his way of telling me he was in another form. There are many stories from other people who loved Wayne that are similar to mine. Amongst many tears and gratitude for all he gave in his life, I thought about his years of writing, and how I always looked forward to his next book. His books became more and more spiritual over the years, reflecting his ascension in this realm. I was sad thinking I would never read a new book from him, and then I thought, maybe somehow I would.

I learned of psychic medium, spiritual counselor, healer and author Karen Noe through following Wayne Dyer's daughters on social media. Wayne connected with Karen after his passing and had messages for his family. Karen provided profound readings to his wife and daughters, giving "without a doubt" messages from Wayne. When I heard about this, I started following Karen Noe on Facebook and Instagram, and I hoped somehow Wayne would write a book through her.

We Consciousness: 33 Profound Truths For Inner And Outer Peace is the book I was hoping for! Karen Noe has channeled Wayne Dyer and the higher consciousness he... well...hangs out with, called the We Guides. The We Guides include Jesus, St. Francis, Lao Tzu and many others. Wayne had a huge affinity for St. Francis, and I recall one of his trips to Assisi where he was lecturing in the church and felt overcome at one point by St. Francis' spirit. He spent a year living the Tao, and his resulting book "Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life reflect the path he walked honoring the teachings of Lao Tzu. He has quoted A Course In Miracles which is said to be channeled teachings of Jesus, and ended all of his lectures with one of the quotes "You can be a host to God, or a hostage to your ego." I can also see how Karen Noe is connected to all of this too. She felt a close connection to Wayne's teachings as well as a deep tie to St. Francis. She is a huge lover of animals, and believes in being an instrument of peace.

Wayne came to Karen on a New Years Eve while she was in an altered state of consciousness, and told her that she would be channeling a book not just from Wayne, but also St. Francis, ascended masters, and angels. They would be sharing 33 Profound Truths of the We Consciousness. This was helping Karen accomplish her mission on Earth, to spread the message of peace with the world.

The book begins with the 33 Profound Truths and a short explanation of each. This alone will raise your vibration, but Karen includes many chapters on how to make yourself an instrument of peace. It is truly a beautiful book, and shows how each of us can lift the vibration of the planet in how we treat ourselves and others.

We Consciousness also includes a question and answer section with Wayne. I love this part, if feels like you are sitting down with Wayne for a chat. There are also stories from his daughters and wife, prayers for peace, quotes on peace, and organizations & websites for peace.

This is a much needed book on this planet right now, and I am so grateful to Karen Noe for being an example of peace and for opening her heart to hearing the continuing wisdom of Dr. Wayne Dyer and the We Guides. And I am most grateful that Karen is sharing it with all of us.

To reach Karen Noe: Click here
To buy We Consciousness: Click here
For many of Wayne Dyer's books: Click here
Dr. Wayne Dyer's website: Click here

In Gratitude & Love,

Kerri Mulhern
www.suitablegifts.com

FLOATing Into Fifty

Over the past couple of years, I've made it a tradition to do something special for myself for my birthday. I love going out of my way on birthdays for the people I love, and I realized I needed to include myself as well. This year is a big one for me, so I wanted to do something really different.

This year I decided to try floating! FLOAT offers pods that are essentially sensory deprivation chambers. I have heard of these for awhile, and when I found there was a place to go to in San Antonio, I knew I wanted to try it to celebrate my half century. Before I went, I meditated, prayed and chose an oracle card from Sonia Choquette's Ask Your Guides Deck. Before I choose a card. I usually ask for my spirit guides to show me what it is they want me to know for the day. This day I asked for a message about my upcoming FLOAT experience. I wanted to know who I might connect with during that experience. When I pick a card, the deck is face down and after shuffling I hear a number so that I know which one to pick. If I hear 5 for example, then it is the 5th card from the top to pull. Everyone uses these decks different ways, but this is how it works for me. The card I picked was "Solitude," so appropriate for this experience. The spirit guide connecting with me was my owner Higher Spirit. 

I said a prayer in the car for a good experience and headed on my way. The pods are filled with ten inches of water and up to 1,200 pounds of Epsom salt. I love me an Epsom salt bath, but I've never used enough to make me float, maybe only a cup or two! But even that small amount of salt relaxes and recharges me, and releases the negative junk in my auric field. I was a little concerned about the salt level. One time I tried a five pound bag of Himalayan sea salt in my bath and I felt so yucky after it. It was serious detox and dehydration. I didn't know what to expect with this, but I took a giant bottle of water with me just in case.

I had a choice between an i-sopod or a Zero Gravity Suite, which is less claustrophobic. I really wanted the full experience, so I opted for the i-sopod. I arrived at FLOAT and was soon greeted by Meredith, who was so kind and informative. She showed me to the dressing room and bathroom. It had lockers, two mirrors, chairs, and tables filled with lotion, combs, hair dryers, curling irons, hairspray, and more for after floating. I took everything off, and put on one of their soft, comfy robes. They had flip flops too, but I usually trip over myself, so I walked barefoot to the next room.

Meredith led me to a small room with three massage chairs. The room was dark and peaceful. I chose my chair, sat down and Meredith started the chair in motion. I relaxed for fifteen minutes while gentle waves were projected on the walls, "stars" and "moon" were overhead on the dark ceiling, while sounds of nature chirped throughout. I felt like I was on a camping adventure, well maybe more glamping since I was in such a high tech massage chair! But it was very relaxing. This was not your regular nail salon chair. It had rollers at my feet, kneading my heels, all the way up through the balls of my feet. The leg rests periodically squeezed my legs and ankles, as did the arm rests atop my hands. Every once in awhile, after the rollers went down and up my spine to my neck, the sides would squeeze my shoulders together. It was awesome!

After the massage, Meredith brought me to my room (pod #5). The sound-proof room was small, and the pod was big! There was room to hang my robe, a small table with ear plugs and vaseline (to keep out the sting of the salt if I had any open cuts). In the corner was a shower with shower gel, shampoo and conditioner. Everything was provided for, which made it convenient not to have to pack a bag for this, other than some makeup. Meredith told me to shower first (they don't want oils or anything in the pod). She showed me where the latch was inside the lid of the pod for when I needed to open it. She said to keep it closed as much as possible to keep the temperature as it should be. It is supposed to be the same temperature as our skin.

Meredith opened the pod and it was lit in blue. The water was clear. I don't know why, but I expected it to be thick and salty looking, but it wasn't at all. Inside on the left was a button to push to turn the blue light off when I was ready for darkness. She said for awhile I would see light from the room peeking through the seams of the pod lid until the room light went off. The floating experience also starts with calming music, but that fades away too. On the right inside the pod, was a button to push if I needed any help (a panic button I thought, that I hoped I wouldn't need!).

She talked about ways to relax, breathing, how to rest my arms - she suggested placing them over my head to open up and relax more. She showed me a flotation ring for my head, hung on the wall, that I could use if needed. She said the head seems to be the last thing to relax. I can understand that, since tension always seems to show itself in my head and neck.

I was ready to roll, so Meredith left the room and I was on my way to my sixty minute adventure (they have 90 minute sessions too)! I took a quick shower and hopped in the pod. I closed the lid over me, layed down in the water and was floating instantly! The music was peaceful, as was the blue light. It was ethereal. I looked around briefly and noticed a decent amount of room in the pod to feel comfortable. It was warm. I really prefer to feel cool and breathe in cool air. That wasn't happening here, and I started worrying myself that I'd overheat or panic. It wasn't that hot, I was just overthinking. I turned the light off. Breathe, breathe, breathe. 

It was really fascinating to be floating in this unique experience. When the room light went out, it was so dark I couldn't see any difference with my eyes opened or closed.   My neck hurt. I had been to the gym in the morning and it was already sore, but I must not have been relaxing it completely. I had to pop the lid to get the neck support. Dang. I wish I had brought it in with me. I opened the lid and grabbed the ring and got back in. It was nice to get a little bit of cool air.

I settled back down, turned the light off again, and not too long after, the room light went out again. I prayed. I asked to connect to God, my spirit guides, my higher self. Everything started to look red. I don't know if it was from my blood pumping harder. At times I could feel my pulse beating in my ears. I didn't use the earplugs, I really wanted to feel everything. But the beat was really loud at times. I know how hokey this sounds, but you know I'm going to say it anyway...I saw the face of Jesus. I often see flashes of people, places and objects when I meditate. I have not been able to slow down the images enough to put together the meaning. This time I saw his face, large, just for a brief moment. After that I saw this jumbled mass of red and dark. It was kind of like a lava lamp, but more in the shape of a cloud.  In the mass, small faces appeared and receded. It was creepy and a little scary. It didn't feel like good energy. I prayed to Archangel Michael to clear it. Breathe, relax, breathe.

Off and on I could hear my heartbeat loudly in my head and at one point I heard a really loud sound that made me jump.  It's a sound-proof room, so I don't know what it was, but it jarred me for a second. It could have been from my own body, as my ears were under the water and the sound is amplified. They recommend eating an hour or so before the float so stomach sounds aren't distracting, so it could have been digestion in progress!

I struggled with the heat in the beginning, but I really wanted to stay in the pod for the full hour, so I just did it. I knew it really wasn't anything that would hurt me, I just needed to get used to it. I had a conversation with a friend of mine the night before the float, and she said she wouldn't be able to do it because she had an unexpected panic attack just getting an MRI. That vision popped in my head, and my heart beat faster. I let it go quickly. Breathe, breathe, breathe. 

I relaxed as I would when I meditate. The head rest was a huge help. Every once in awhile it felt like my shoulders were scrunching up, so I put my arms over my head as Meredith suggested. It felt much better. When my eyes were closed, and I relaxed more, I felt myself  moving. It felt like I was floating on a calm sea..at night...with no sharks. The music came back on when my time was up, it seemed like it all went by so fast. 

I popped the pod back open and showered again, dried off and put on my robe. After I opened the door and walked down the hallway, Meredith was there to bring me back to the changing room. I felt peaceful as I got dressed and dried my hair. Meredith had mentioned that I could go to a sitting area to relax as long as I wanted to after, so I did. It was a room with couches, coloring books, water, kombucha to purchase (which I did!), and tea. As I grabbed some water, Meredith and I chatted about my experience. I told her I didn't get to the spiritual place I wanted to, but I felt good and know that if I tried it a few more times, I would be able to relax as I do when I meditate. She said it usually takes a few sessions to relax as well. She also suggested maybe a 90 minute session might be better for me and I agreed. It really does go fast, and I think more time would be ideal. I also think I might try the Zero Gravity Suite and see if I feel better about the warmth in that environment.

I grabbed some locally made kombucha and walked to the entrance to pay for my float. Meredith had stepped out, so I was able to meet one of the owners Jeremy Jacob. He was just as kind and helpful, and rounded out a great new experience. Aside my quest to transcend my body and connect with spirit, this experience was relaxing, good for my joints and muscles, peaceful, and a welcome break from social media, news, and sensory overload.  I will definitely float again and continue to let go, relax, and breathe. 

For more information and a virtual tour:
FLOAT: http://www.floatsa.com/

In Gratitude & Love,

Kerri Mulhern
www.suitablegifts.com

I Am A Student Of A Course In Miracles

Well, that wasn't something I thought I would ever write, but it's true I am a student of A Course In Miracles. Through the recommendation of my good friend Estella, I purchased the book last year. It had been calling to me, but I wasn't quite ready to answer it. It is said to be a channeled book from Jesus. That alone would make someone go hmmmm. It's not that I don't believe in channeling, I have read enough and listened to enough to understand that it is possible, anything is possible. And throughout this spiritual journey I have kept my mind open. But Jesus? That's pretty big! Over 2.2 million copies have been sold worldwide since its publication in 1976, and a majority of the spiritual teachers I follow refer often to the Course, so there must be something to it. 

After holding on to the book for a few months without reading beyond the preface. I just wasn't sure how to use the Course. I felt a bit intimidated. There are three sections to it, the Text, the Manual for Teachers, and the Workbook. The Text has over 600 pages. the Workbook has 365 lessons. While pondering when I would actually start this, and if I would even be able to understand what I was doing, as usual, the answer came. Hollie Holden announced on her Facebook page that she was going to start the Presence of Love Study Group to study A Course In Miracles. I joined right away, and the first lesson was to begin January 1st. It has been a beautiful introduction to the course. Hollie is just so lovely and she gives a daily live lesson on Facebook. She's in the U.K., so I listen to her after the live broadcast, but it is still just as powerful. The group has grown to over 850, with members from all over the world. Any member of the group can post on the page for guidance and support, as well as leave messages of kindness and love. It is a safe place to bare your soul and not feel judged. The lessons can bring up quite a bit of feelings, so it is so helpful to have a supportive group who understands.

Today I am on Lesson 93. I read two pages of text a day, so I will complete that part by the end of the year along with the lessons. I spend 20-30 minutes listening to Hollie's lesson, another 15 minutes reading the text and lesson, and then 15-20 minutes of meditation. This may sound like so much time, but it isn't. I listen to Hollie's video lesson while I'm still in bed trying to wake up (sometimes at the gym when I'm riding the bicycle), I read while I'm drinking my morning coffee and eating breakfast, and I was already meditating every morning anyway. The lesson is also practiced throughout the day. Honestly, I do get busy, so the lesson isn't always practiced throughout the day! I do what I am able to, but the messages are still sinking in. I intend to follow this through for the year and see where it takes me. 

In the beginning I had ups and downs. I definitely had doubts about the whole idea of this. I moved away from organized religion because I didn't feel connected to it. I felt on the outside looking at something I could never be good enough, or perfect enough to feel welcome. Spirituality has felt more all inclusive. There were parts of the readings that have brought me back to that religious feeling. I felt like I was being told to follow this way, as it's the only way. I hadn't felt close to Jesus in a long time as well. I felt a block, a disconnect. I know I created it, but I'm not really sure why. I know it bothered me that I felt like religion was teaching me that the only way to God was through Jesus. I kept thinking, I can talk to Him any time I want to, I don't need to go through Jesus! It felt like another pressure that I had to do things a certain way or I couldn't be close to God. 

Heading into my fourth month of the Course. I feel differently, my heart is opening. I am feeling a change through this daily practice. The Course is a return to love, a return to God. It is an undoing of the destructive thoughts of the ego. It is about true forgiveness of oneself and others. It is the realization that our judgments are blocking us from true vision. Have you ever had this image in your mind of what someone was all about, then got to know them and realized you had made up a story in your mind? Apparently, that's what we are doing constantly. This new journey at times been challenging and fascinating. It has shown me that when I look at another, they are serving as a mirror. How I react to them is mirroring back something that I need to know about myself. When I am being judged, it is a reflection of the one doing the judging and vice versa when I am judging. The truth is, we are all One. Judgment, anger and hatred is not of love (God), it is of fear. 

There is no separation, even though it may appear that way. We are also all a part of God (or Source, Divine Mind, or whatever feels right to you). It can be hard to fathom this when there appears to be so much chaos, evil, narcissism, and hatred going on in the world. But I'm not speaking of the choices of a warped ego, I am speaking of the soul. We are a soul in human form, not a human with a soul. And God loves us unconditionally despite our perceived wrong doings. I know this may dredge up so much of how we have been treated poorly, abused, or judged. It definitely brought it all up to the surface for me. Through the lessons, I realized how much of my time was consumed with the same grievances for the same people or situations day after day after day. This Course is about forgiveness, and that probably is what really kept me from it. I am a work in progress, but the book is helping. What I can say at this point, is it feels much better to let go and forgive, than to hold on to anger and resentment. 

I am not at all suggesting to hang out with the person who harmed you. I am not saying to commend those in the world who do not have the kind and inclusive beliefs you do. If there is a part of you that can suspend the story you've been telling yourself about the other person (family member, friend, boss, political figure, etc.) and imagine that there is something deeper that you hadn't considered that caused them to be who they appear to be, would saying a prayer for their return to love be so hard to do? The thing is, not only can that silent blessing change them, it changes you. That is what it is for, to free you.

And how much do we judge ourselves? We are One, we are the same Divine souls that everyone else is. This prayer by a Benedictine nun sums it up quite perfectly: 

O God

help me to believe

the truth about myself-

no matter how beautiful it is!

Macrina Wiederkehr

Do you know how beautiful you are? Maybe it's time for a re-introduction to you.

In Gratitude & Love,

Kerri Mulhern
www.suitablegifts.com

What The Fu*k Is Happening To Spirituality?

Now that I have your attention...that's actually the whole point of this blog. Trust me, I'm not on my high-horse preaching "my way" at all. Everyone is entitled to their way of expressing themselves. This is just something that I have been observing for awhile, and I kind of want to know how you all see it too.

Language has become so much looser on television, in the movies, business, and in just casual conversations. I don't know if such a relaxed attitude in how we speak is really benefitting us. It seems to be dumbing us down, disrespectful to each other, and not setting the best example for future generations.

I am having the hardest time watching it creep into spirituality. Swearing is now the norm in spiritual books, courses, and all over social media. You know what I'm talking about, the meme with Buddha saying "Let That Sh*t Go," is one example. I often think, would that come out of Buddha's mouth? Is that a respectful thing to attach to one of our most spiritual representatives? Maybe he wouldn't mind, perhaps he'd give it all a hearty belly laugh. But for me, I wonder if "What The F Would Jesus Do?" could be far behind?

Look at that face, I just don't think he's into it either.

It feels more like spiritual immaturity to me. We have to drop the F-bomb to get a reaction, to look cool, relevant or modern. It's not that I don't have some flowery language in my repertoire, but it's something I've been working at letting go of. And you won't see it on anything I put out there for my business or on social media. But you may overhear it in my home when I stub my toe on the couch for the 30th time, or when my internet gets stuck just when I've finished typing my blog, and I forgot to save it. But maybe that's why I'm more sensitive to it, because it's something I'm letting go of. The things that trigger you, are telling you something about yourself. So that's why I wanted to put it out there, are you ok with saucy spirituality, or do you think it has gone too far?

I don't find expletives uplifting, peaceful, loving, gentle, or kind. Those are the words I think of when I think of spirituality. But the other side of the coin with spirituality is understanding, tolerance, and oneness, so maybe this current casual approach to spirituality is alright? Perhaps I just need to start a "Spirituality for Prudes" club, and calm myself down? Actually, I'm not offended by it, I just don't find it necessary. There are just so many more beautiful words to choose from, so why pick something so small? 

So what do you think? Have I lost my bleeping mind, or do you think profanity is the new path to enlightenment?


In Gratitude & Love,

Kerri Mulhern
www.suitablegifts.com

Smudging: A Beginner's Journey

Smudging is a custom of Native Americans and other cultures to clear negative spiritual energy from a space, an object and even people. I have been wanting to smudge my home for quite awhile, so I ordered a Home Blessing & Cleansing kit. A beautiful feather, abalone bowl, oil, salt crystals and more soon arrived. I wanted to literally clear the air in our home. The intention was to release any heaviness and have our home feeling light, positive and happy.

I am most grateful to the amazing Reiki Master Sharna Langlais, who I came to know through Instagram (@sharnalanglais). She had posted beautiful instructions on smudging, and I felt even more inspired to try it. I had also read tips and prayers from Hayhouse author, soul coach and space clearing extraordinaire Denise Linn.

Home Blessing & Cleansing Kit

I held onto the kit for months, feeling a little tentative about trying it... waiting for just the right moment. Well honestly, I was a little scared of trying something new! But that's when you really need to do something! So I decided to smudge during my sons' first day of school.  I thought it would be a good way to kick off the school year, and the house would be quiet for me to figure out what I was doing.

Combining what I learned from Sharna, Denise, the sage kit, and my own inner guidance, I set out to smudge. I held the feather to my chest and blessed and thanked the beautiful bird that it came from. I opened the windows (but not enough, I found out later!), lit the bundle of sage and set it in the bowl. Now mind you, the instructions clearly stated to blow out the fire once it started. I thought, how can I make it through my entire house without it completely extinguishing itself? A lesson in stubbornness or trust for me, perhaps? I now know to follow the instructions! Because I left some of the embers burning, I had quite a bit of smoke. But I had nothing to compare it to, since I've never done this before. So I started on my journey, billowing smoke and all...

I said a prayer and smudged myself as best I could. I used the feather to waft the smoke, and went from the top of my head to my toes, and up the back of myself as far as I was able to reach. Next I went to the front door and even outside at the threshold, said the prayer, smudged and made the eternity symbol with the sage. Here is the prayer I said. You can say what feels right to you:

"Dear God, Jesus, angels, archangels, spirit guides, divine masters and my guardian angels- please remove any negative energy caused by myself or others and sent it up to Heaven for transmutation. And so it is."

I was nervous. Was I doing this right? Was I saying the right words? I felt a bit stressed. 

Next I went to the dining room/living room (it's one big room, so I did it all together). Starting in the east corner (iPhone compass app was invaluable) I said my cleansing prayer and went in a clockwise motion around the room (some go counterclockwise when smudging, clockwise just felt right for me). I fanned the increasingly thick smoke into the air. I stopped at every window and made the sign of the cross with the sage. My kit did contain oil for the windows and salt crystals for the doorways, but it felt a little extreme for my first smudging, so I left that for next time (maybe). When I made it back to my starting point, I said the same prayer again. I ended by making the infinity sign with the sage. 

I did the same ritual in the kitchen and garage. At this point, I realized I'd better blow out the sage before the cats collapsed, or it set off the fire alarm. I blew the sage bundle and the ashes went flying. Setting the house ablaze was also not in my plans, so I made sure I collected the ashes and placed them in the bowl. I smudged the back door, the first floor bathroom, the closet  and even the staircase to the second floor. I started and ended each area with the prayer, made the cross symbol at the windows and the infinity symbol when I returned to each starting point.

By the time I got upstairs I suddenly became aware that I felt calm. I was kind of flitting through the rooms at this point, and it felt like a spiritual, moving ceremony. I was in my smudging zone and it felt beautiful. I felt so joyful when I realized how relaxed I was.

I finished the smudging and my house felt at peace. I felt at peace. Um, but the house was filled with smoke. The air was so still outside, that it didn't pull the smoke out. I was a little concerned that everyone in the house would be breathing too much sage smoke, so I cranked the fans on full blast for awhile. 

I definitely learned that blowing out the smudging stick was sage advice! (drum roll please) I also learned to push myself when there is something I want to do, but don't know how to do it. When I don't have the answers, there are wonderful people out there that do. Feel the fear, and do it anyway. I know that when I do this again, I won't feel that apprehension. I also don't have to feel that it has to be done "perfectly." All I need is a positive intention. And isn't that true for anything?

In Gratitude (and a puff of smoke),

Kerri

www.suitablegifts.com

Who Is Judging Who?

Lately my stories seem to happen when I'm walking.  It's been quite a road, to say the least! But the road has been paved with wonderful lessons, and I'm looking forward to what is next. 

As I finished up my three mile walk, I came upon one of my neighbors as I was heading back to my house to cool down. With sweat dripping from every pore on me, my neighbor decided she wanted to chat. I'm working on getting myself back into shape, but I certainly am still in the early stages where only I can notice the change.  She started to talk about her knee and how it was bothering her, and then quickly segued into ranting about her husband. She was disgusted by him because he is overweight.  

My first thought was, do you see who you're talking to? I'm literally a hot mess over here! I often take this walk with my husband, and he looks exactly the same as when he started, I look like I hosed myself down and painted my face bright red. I am not exaggerating in the slightest.

My second thought was, how could she speak of her husband this way? From my viewpoint, he is such a hard working man, very kind and loving towards his kids, always ready to help out a neighbor, and never speaks unkind of others.  

I was unnerved as she continued to say how sloppily he dressed, how his belly was hanging out over his shirt, and how he refused to do anything to help himself. She went on and on and on.  I felt the need to gently express the other side, because I have been heavy and thin, and heavy and thin again.  I know how hard it is for some people to lose weight.  I told her the things that I have gone through on my journey, but she was bent on being angry and critical. I told her I would pray for her husband. She rolled her eyes and said "Yeah, he needs prayer alright."

I left feeling upset and angry that she could speak of her husband like that.  I felt righteous in my judgement of her judgement of her husband.  Oh...wait a minute, am I'm judging too?  But my judgment is accurate, right?

No it wasn't.  I wish I could figure out all of these things right away, but honestly I am beginning to enjoy the lessons I am learning.  I have been reading non-stop all summer.  It has been a wonderful treat to myself to take the time to luxuriate in a good book. Most of what I read is of a spiritual nature, and I also love biographies.  The book I am now reading is called Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. It was recommended to me over a year ago. I bought it but never read it. Quite interesting that I picked this time to begin. 

I always thought being codependent referred to those involved with alcoholics or drug abusers. It means so much more.  It is anyone who has allowed someone else's problem to become their own, at the expense of taking care of their own needs.  I specifically read about people who are in relationships with overeaters. It was amazing to have the judgement I had towards my neighbor revealed to me from an entirely new perspective.  The situation impacts both of them.

I read that the codependent often seems angry, critical, hostile, manipulative, and controlling. Wow. Everything that I judged in my neighbor was as wrong as her judgement of her husband. As I read on, I understood more about her perspective, and my view of her "attitude" softened. I thought back about our conversation and I heard her words differently this time.  She was worried about her husband, her kids, her life.  She felt helpless and not in control of the situation. 
  
I also understand myself better.  I didn't realize I was being critical too, Now I notice quicker when I am judging someone, and I stop myself in my tracks and let it go.  I am being gentler on myself too, I know I'm learning.  And now I pray for them both.

In Gratitude,

Kerri
www.suitablegifts.com

My Walking Prayer

I began walking as a journey to get back to fitness and good health. I didn't expect it to be a spiritual journey as well. 

I have been finding more and more that the path I'm heading down never leads to where I think it will, and most times it leads to something even more wonderful than I had imagined. I began walking as a way to get back into shape. I allowed stressful thoughts, work, and life wreak havoc on my body. It was getting to the point of being very unhealthy, and I was ready to make a change.

Walking is not my favorite activity. I have extra bones floating around in my feet, and walking or even standing can be excruciating at times. Being outside in the Texas heat is also not a love of mine, I sweat just thinking about it. But I wanted something that could ease me back into better health, so I plodded forward.

I started with a mile and a half a day, the perimeter of my subdivision.  It was quite the trek at first scaling the hilly terrain with the painful feet, underused lungs, blazing heat, and bad attitude. I thought perhaps the attitude was the main problem, still I plodded on.

In the beginning I carried a heavier load than my weight,  I just didn't realize it at the time.  I felt that I was all alone, but all of my thoughts came with me.  They were not good company.  Many times they talked about what bad shape I was in, brought up everything I ever did wrong, reminded me of things they thought I should feel guilty for, or others who upset me.  My mind would race. The blood would be pumping from anger or hurt, not from exercise. I really started to dread the walks. Yet still, I plodded on.

But I was feeling physically better,  and I got my self up to 3 miles a day in a short amount of time.  I had more energy, changes were happening.  But what to do with my travel companions? It was truly time to let them go.  I was ready for that change too.

I thought about all I have been doing towards a spiritual path, and realized that I could literally walk that path every day.  I set aside time to meditate, to focus on what I want to attract into my life, but I never thought about doing that during my walks.  

Once I realized all of the negativity I was bringing along with me, I was able to release it the same way I do when I meditate.  I begin my walk with a mindful presence.  I notice everything around me, especially when my mind starts to wander.  It is very easy to come back to focus when you look at the trees, the butterflies flitting by, or the squirrels chasing each other around a tree.  

The next step for me was prayer.  As I round the first hill and the road levels, I begin my prayer.  I am at the point where I don't care who is around, or if they think I'm talking to myself.  The prayer is what's important, not what others think.  I also don't care if anyone sees me make the sign of the cross to close my prayer, it's something that feels right for me.  

I pray to God, to Jesus, to the angels. These companions on my walks are so much nicer! I thank them for everything in my life, even the things that seem bad.  In fact, my entire prayer is a thank you. I know in my heart now that what looks like a problem, is really a blessing. I just need to trust. 

I pray with thanks for what I want to bring into my life, and I pray in present tense as if it's already here.  I pray for my family, friends, and strangers. I pray for those that I am having difficulty with.  I have learned that the difficulty only lies in my choice to be upset, not in them anyway.  I have also learned that I don't need to have a battle with myself anymore either. Now that I have chosen to be lifted up through prayer on my walks, the pain has been lifted too: from my heart and my feet. And now I march on!

With Gratitude,

Kerri

www.suitablegifts.com