Tuesday, November 3, 2015

My Name is Kerri, and I'm a Chocoholic

Yes, I admit it. And in the admitting, I am set free. I have had a sugar addition since I was quite young. Candy, icecream, cookies, cake (you get the idea) have been in my daily diet for decades. I craved it, stockpiled it, hid it and devoured it.

At my annual doctor's appointment last month, my doctor went over my blood work with me. My cholesterol had dropped 5 points since last year, thyroid was healthy, blood sugar was perfect, everything was in normal range. "I'm addicted to sugar!" I blurted out. There, I said it. I needed to say it. She wasn't asking for it in the least, but I needed to own it, share it and let it go. We talked about it for a bit, she gave me some advice and sent me on my way.

Since that appointment, my sugar craving is gone. I don't think that was the only reason for it, but it was the final piece I needed. For quite some time now, I have been making steps towards better health. I have been listening to my intuition and immersing myself in healthier reading, TV and radio programs. Many ideas and repetitive signs to take action have been coming my way, so I followed them.

I have a list of intentions ("I am's") that I state when I meditate. Here are some of them:

  • I am thin.
  • I am perfect wellness.
  • I am losing weight quickly and healthfully.
  • I am craving healthy foods.

I have also been praying for help in eliminating my sugar cravings and eating better.

I have been eating healthier, going to the gym, and have even started using a hula hoop (it's a bit comical right now, but I plod on!). I have really felt like everything I needed to do to live a healthier life was coming together wonderfully except for the sugar. And honestly, I was so addicted, I didn't know if I wanted to give it up. I knew it was toxic, and at times I even felt angry from it after eating it. It gave me brain fog, forgetfulness and exhaustion. Yes, the chocolate bar cried out for me, and I always relented. The cravings were incredibly intense.

A few weeks before the doctor appointment, I had given up my morning muffins. It was a staple with my morning coffee (no sugar in the coffee, I was actually able to give that up last year). There were 4 tiny chocolate chip muffins in a bag. Total junk. There were at least two occasions where I opened a bag, ate a muffin and tasted some weird chemical, carbon dioxide-ish burst of yuk. I don't know if it was from what they fill the bag with (like they do with potato chip bags to keep the chips from crushing), but you would think that would have stopped me from buying them. Nope. Get buying, kept shoving them in my pie hole. Addiction at its finest.

There were just so many layers to my addiction to sugar. It was my escape when I was anxious, my reward when I accomplished something, it was my go to for everything. Sad? Candy. Happy? Candy. Tired? Candy. Candy, candy and more candy with a side of donuts. You can not even imagine the sheer volume of sweets I could consume in a day. I knew all of the junk was actually starving my body (even though it was ballooning on the outside), but I couldn't stop it.

I believe in the Law of Attraction. What you put out into the universe as an intention or belief, will appear. It took some time, but it happened. I persisted with my desire to change by envisioning it, and knowing that I would connect to better health. I continue to envision myself at the ideal weight I would like to be, and I know I will be that. I am not on a diet, I'm not starving myself. I just cut out the candy fest, soda, cakes...I could go on but you know what I'm talking about! Sugar!! I even made it through Halloween with candy in the house, and didn't have a bite. And it wasn't difficult for me. 

For the first time, I haven't had any sugar withdrawals. I have tried in the past to let go of sugar, usually combined with a low-calorie diet, and I was miserable. I'm not counting calories this time, but I am eating so much healthier that I'm losing weight.

Here are some points that I feel have really helped me make this change:

  • Start with a desire.
  • Set an intention (write it down, say it aloud...often)
  • Watch for the signs (and your intuition) and follow them.
  • Pray.
  • Meditate on your intention.
  • Live as if what you want is already here. The universe will provide you with what you put out there. Speak, think and feel like it already is in existence (It may take practice, but you can do it!).
  • Feel worthy. Know that you deserve all the joy, love, peace, health, abundance and more that you want. And there is enough of it all for everyone.
  • Be patient. The change could occur immediately, or take some time (as mine did). Giving up will never get you where you want to be.
  • Express gratitude. Give thanks for everything. And give thanks as if what you want is already here. "Thank you for my quick and easy weight loss" etc.

I'll be giving updates on my health journey. Feel free to comment and share your journey too!

In Gratitude and Love,

Kerri Mulhern

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