Thursday, January 28, 2016

21 Days...

I'm sure you've all heard that it takes 21 days to form a new habit. Well, I've decided to use that to work on my intentions for this year. My soul is leading the way. Oh the beautiful soul, it's always guiding us towards the best version of ourselves. It speaks so gently though, that our negative ego voice usually drowns it out. The more that I have been meditating, the easier it has become to hear its gentle nudges.

I have decided to work on something new every 21 days. Immersing myself completely in one area at a time, will give it roots to last beyond that time. As I move on to my next project, I will carry the one completed with me. It's not so I will end up with an overwhelming amount to do, but rather so I will continue to engage myself in all of the favorable ways my soul is pulling me towards. Habits are easy, so the goal is to have some really healthy and positive ones.

To begin, I've chosen space clearing (also known as clutter clearing). It is the one thing that bugs me the most. I chose it because I knew I would be thinking it about it the entire 3 weeks even if I chose something else. I want to be completely mindful of whatever it is that I'm working on. There will be no guilt, unreasonable demands, or struggles during these 21 days. This is about change, but it doesn't need to be miserable. It will all be joyful. 

I don't have a mess in my home. Well, except for this closet...

Oh well, there's no need to hide it from you. We're all friends here, right? There's so much crammed in there from business inventory, crafts, art supplies, kids memories to office supplies. It's the tiniest closet in the house, but it's in my office where I am most of the time, so in everything goes!

Generally, I've gotten much better at letting go and keeping things orderly. I have grown to prefer having much less. But, there is more to let go of: clothes that I don't wear or even like, office paperwork (that always seems to pile up), computer files, emails, tons and tons of photos & videos that need to be organized, and so many of my kids' memories. The kids' memories are the hardest for me to part with, but I know I will find some creative ways to wean and organize (Thank goodness for iPhones and flash drives, you can save everything in such a tiny space!). 

So that's where I'm starting, and I will report back in on what happens. Here are some other thoughts I have for upcoming 21 days throughout this year:

  1. Fun & play. Very much needed!
  2. Art. I went to college for art, and over the last 20 years I have barely made time to create. I miss it.
  3. Writing. Another passion that I need to be more consistent with.
  4. Reading. I love to read and learn, but I want to do more of it.
  5. Nature. I love being outside, but I don't make the time for it. This will do it!
  6. Flexibility. I currently have the flexibility of a 2x4.
  7. Something new. I want to try new things that I have never done before. It's great for the brain and ramps up those courage muscles!
  8. Living meditation. It's something I have thought about for quite awhile. I don't just want to feel the peace I have during and just after meditation. I want to live it all day by being mindful of it.

I will be making lots lists to prepare for what I will be doing. I just love lists (I probably should be doing 21 days of spontaneity...we'll see). If you have any thoughts for fun, nature, etc let me know! Do you have any intentions for this year? Share in the comments, I'd love to hear from you!

In Gratitude and Love,


Friday, January 8, 2016

Being The Witness

My youngest son and I were out running some errands one weekend recently. We stopped by his high school, next to Wal-Mart and then the the gas station to fill up the tank. As we headed back home he stated "When I'm older I want to make alot of money so I can give it to people who need it." Whoah, wow! There was nothing in our conversation to prompt it, it just came out. And I was the witness. 

My older son has told me many stories of his giving. It's not because he was bragging. He often hangs out in my office after his day at college, and it is just in regular conversation. He has told me of times that he's done kindnesses for his friends and times he's given money to customers at his job because they didn't have enough. He gives to give, not expecting anything in return. It's beautiful. And I was the witness.

There have been so many moments that I have been the witness to both of my sons. I have seen kindness, compassion, gentleness, humor and more. It is such a blessing. I feel so honored to have the role of mom to these two beautiful souls. Dr. Wayne Dyer has often repeated a piece of this quote by Khalil Gibran, and it is exactly how I feel about being a parent:

On Children

 Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
That His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

I don't allow my ego to believe for one minute that the wonderful beings that they are, is because of me. I was blessed to have them, and they are so wanted and loved. I was (and still am) there to take care of them, watch them grow, protect them (hovering sometimes a bit too much!) and be their witness. The best part is being their witness. And the times they don't realize their beauty and magnificence, I tell them what I've witnessed in them. They have been my witness too. They have seen love, compassion, and honesty, but they have also seen anger, impatience and more from me. I believe that they choose the path they will take based on what they've witnessed throughout their lives through home, school, friends and the world they live in. They are unique souls on their unique path.

I also don't believe they owe me anything for being their parent. They are not here for me, they are here for their purpose. I don't own them, but I do love them with all my heart. I would give my life for them. When they feel pain, I feel pain. When they feel joy, so do I. But I don't want them to be me, I want them to be who they are. I don't encourage them to take part in sports or do well in school to stroke my ego. I encourage them to do the best they are able and try new things to find out what they like and who they are. You will never hear me say "He's just like me,"or "Thanks to me, he accomplished that." I am proud of them for them, not for my sake.

As Kahlil Gibran says, "you may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you." That's it! I learn so much from them. As the years have gone by, they have taught me so much about being a parent, the importance of having a kinder heart and calmer disposition. They have taught me patience, love, joy and so much more. I will forever be grateful for the beautiful gifts they are, and for being their witness.

In Gratitude and Love,

Kerri Mulhern

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