Week Three: The Ceiling Came Down

After two weeks of resting my foot, I was still going to the gym four days a week. I would wear the walking boot and not do anything that put pressure on my right foot. After each visit though, my foot was aching so much that I couldn't wait to get home and tear the boot off. I tried giving up seated leg exercises, but I was still in pain. I wasn't sure if the boot was causing the pain, or having any weight on my foot was doing it. 

I didn't want to waste any of these 6 weeks trying to figure it out, so I decided to take a break from the gym and completely rest my foot. I am doing floor leg exercises and my dumbells at home, but that's it.  

But there is still the weight issue. More Googling and it looks like the people that primarily go to the podiatrist for Posterior Tibial Tendonitis are runners and overweight middle-aged women. Guess what category I fall into? After two weeks of eliminating sweets, treats, fast food, and soda, there has been no weight loss.

I firmly decided at the beginning of this week that I had enough and was going to lose this weight. What is the point of resting my foot, only to re-injure it as soon as all this weight is applied back onto it? I wondered why the podiatrist didn't suggest losing weight to avoid surgery, since it is listed as one of the contributing causes. By Wednesday I dropped 3 1/2 pounds just by letting go of a small amount of what I had been consuming. I felt a bit light-headed, but I have experienced that before when starting a diet. I figured I'm going through a bit of a detox and my body is reacting to less calories.

I didn't feel cravings for anything bad to eat. The cravings are usually my downfall.  I felt different, not obsessed with losing weight, but comfortably leaning into it. I also haven't been thinking about food incessantly like I used to. I have been able to go hours without wanting something to eat. I know this may sound ridiculous to most, but it really was a problem for me. I thought back to my Reiki, chakra balancing, and reflexology massage at the Integrative Healing Institute, and wondered how it impacted how I was feeling. Kim Krost did do some lymphatic draining on my right leg, which can cause weight loss. Could this have had such an impact on my body?

I had a day where I considered not wearing the boot anymore. It seemed to be causing me pain when I wore it for just a few minutes. I tried just using my sneakers with the orthotics and my foot was not in pain. It felt a bit weak, but I would make sure I was thoughtful in my steps, walking the way Gary Ramsey taught me, from my heel to the outside of my foot, to the ball of my foot, instead of the usual walking on the inside of my arch. After a day I had regret that maybe I would hurt it, since overall my foot was definitely feeling better. So I'm wearing the boot when I'm walking, and I take it off whenever I sit down or use my knee scooter. I also cancelled my 3 week podiatry check up. I'm deciding whether to give this doctor another try in 6 weeks, or find someone else. 

So now about the ceiling. We had a leak in the roof almost two years ago. It ended up leaking right into the ceiling in my office. We had the roof patched back then, and things seemed fine. We had some rain this past week and the leak came back even more furiously. The textured ceiling came down right onto my chair. Do I think this was just a coincidence in all of this foot drama? Of course not, I see meaning in everything. I know that leaks and plumbing issues are a symbol for something internal, just about every issue you can have in your home is really about yourself. Most everything that occurs is really just life holding up a mirror to yourself, to show you something you need to see. I now see a parallel between the roof leaking two years ago and the naming of my car Jophiel, along with the subsequent craving for yellow (both about my third chakra issues). I wish I would have seen all of this sooner. So, what does a leaking roof mean? Here's a few I found:

• Water represents the flow of our emotions, so a leaky roof could mean feeling emotionally overwhelmed.
• In Feng Shui it can indicate health issues, specifically blood flow in the body.
• A leaky roof can also mean that any negativity in the home is releasing.
• Water is also associated with our career or journey. It can mean career or life path could be unchecked, all over the place, or there's lack of direction or focus. 

For me, I know had been feeling exhausted emotionally and physically. Since this was happening in the room that I work in, I also believe it has to do with my career path. Overall I see that my third chakras issues were showing me that I needed to take care of myself before everything (the ceiling) caved in. I need to contemplate this more, so I will of course meditate, meditate, and meditate some more. 

I'm still using the massager twice a day, taking epsom salt baths, meditating, and grounding myself while using my chakra stones as Kim taught me. I still need to use the sage sticks to clear my aura too, I'll incorporate them next week. I'm relaxing, writing daily in my gratitude journal, reading, and working on my businesses instead of worrying, doing too much, and stressing. It all feels good.

By Sunday to start my fourth week, I'm down 5 1/2 pounds.I know this is quite a bit in a week, but it is my first week. I'm also not really dieting, not counting calories, I'm listening to my body for the first time in, well, forever. It is easier this way, I'm not feeling deprived, I'm feeling in balance.

Until next week...

In Gratitude & Love,

Kerri Mulhern
www.suitablegifts.com

Week Two: It's All About Balancing (Chakras, That Is)

In my second week of healing my foot (and my soul), I'm working on a combination of inner and outer work.  I have been Googling so much about my injury that a massager advertisement appeared in my Instagram feed to help with my issue. It looked really good, like a deep tissue massage, and it was something I could do myself.  I ordered it for same-day Amazon delivery. That just amazes me that I get get something in one day, but I did!

It works great, and has all of these accessories that you can massage your whole body, even a facial massage, which is perfect for my TMJ (from years of teeth grinding from anxiety & stress). So I use it daily on both feet and calves and they feel great! I also have been using the facial massager tip with lotion and my face feels wonderful!

I found some exercises for Posterior Tibial Tendonitis and have been doing the ones that don't put any stress on my foot. I'll do the weight-bearing exercises after 6 weeks to strengthen my calf, ankle, and arch. I'm still debating cancelling that 3 week foot doctor appointment and maybe going in after 6 weeks. I'll figure that out next.

For the first time in a really long time I feel rested. I have been well taken care of and it feels really nurturing. It also feels wonderful not to feel so responsible for everything. I know I have been divinely forced into this situation by knocking my feet right out from under me so I could see this. I don't need to do so much. Everything will be fine. Everything is fine. I could feel myself heading towards all of this, but I kept pushing myself. Now I hope that this rest is enough, because I really don't want surgery. I mean I REALLY don't want surgery at all.

I am still meditating and it feels fantastic to be back in that flow. It was another thing I often gave up because I didn't have the time. I pushed the things I needed to do for myself to the back of the line because of that feeling that I wasn't doing enough for everyone else, that everyone else's needs were more important than mine.  I knew better, I just couldn't do what I needed to for myself until I was forced into it by this foot injury. I am grateful for it, I know it was necessary. I'm grateful that what took me out wasn't more serious.

After lamenting the prospect of surgery, someone dear suggested I try holistic methods since that's what I gravitate towards. Honestly, I gravitate, but I've never tried it for a health issue before. But of course I should try it! So I once again Googled like a maniac and found holistic health practitioners in my area. I found this incredible integrative medicine center nearby called the Integrative Healing Institute, and I was like a kid in a candy store (well, I was actually like ME in a candy store) browsing through their online menu of services. I picked out two to start with: a reflexology massage and chakra balancing (to work on that third chakra). The reflexology description mentioned that it was great for foot pain and plantar fascitis, so this seemed like a great place to start. I booked them back to back and looked forward to the appointments. Although I had some butterflies in my stomach, I had a very good feeling about this place and the healing it would provide, and I know that is important to the outcome. When I had the remote intuitive healer pull the inflammation out of my foot, I know part of the reason it worked, was because I was visualizing along with her that the healing was occurring. It is law of attraction at work. Expect what you want the outcome to be and feel the feeling of what you want. We can create our outcomes, that's why the placebo effect works. If we think something is helping us, it will.

So a few days later hubby brought me to my appointment. The waiting area was a spiritual paradise with crystals, essential oils, jewelry, holistic creams and more. There were cozy chairs and a couch, relaxing music piped in and friendly staff at the desk. After I filled out a few forms, I hobbled around a bit to check out the crystal tables. I eyed a set of chakra discs that looked great. I placed them down, hoping the other woman looking at the crystals wouldn't buy it before I came back from my session. But I didn't want to be impulsive, if it was meant for me, it would be there an hour from now.

Soon Kim Krost appeared and introduced herself (I found out later that she is the owner of the healing center). She was friendly and kind, and I knew I would be in good hands. I left my husband amongst the crystals and sleep inducing sounds and was led to her room. It was a calm, dark, heated room with gentle music playing. The room was small but it fit a couch where I sat, a desk and chair, as well as a massage table in the center of the room. We talked for a bit about my issues. Obviously she knew my foot needed help with the giant boot I was wearing. I told her I was trying to avoid surgery and she spoke of the various clients she has seen with foot issues. It felt reassuring that she has dealt with this before. I told her I also was trying to lose weight so if she had any thoughts or could work some reflexology magic, I would appreciate it. She talked about juicing, and eliminating gluten from my diet and the impact it has had on some of her clients. I appreciated her help.

Next I took my left shoe off and my right boot and gently hopped up on the table and lay down face up. A wedge was under my lower legs. Kim decided to do the chakra balancing first. She placed the same type of chakra discs I spied in the waiting area around and on me. The lower chakra discs were placed towards the right of me on the table. She said as long as the crystals are near the chakras, they help activate them. She placed the heart, throat and third eye chakra discs on me and the crown chakra disc behind my head. She also placed two clear quartz crystals on either side of my head under the pillow I was resting on. She took the sheet underneath me and pulled it to cover my arms. I was cocooned and ready! She was very descriptive about what she was doing and told me she would be employing Reiki in the session. Reiki is an energy healing I have wanted to learn myself and I have thought of getting certified. It so happens she also teaches Reiki! 

Kim told me that the energy that flows through the body starts in the right foot and flows up through the body and down through the left foot. So this aching foot could be a part of a block. She showed me with a pendulum as it swayed back and forth that my chakras were closed. She worked her way up with her hands, applying very light pressure. When she was at my knees, it felt like a current was flowing down my legs a few times. When she got to my third chakra, I felt uncomfortable. I was scared for a moment thinking I was having a panic attack. I was thirsty, maybe it was too warm in there. This is going to sound odd, but here goes. It felt like my chest was a solid thin piece of bone instead of ribs. I'm not sure why that popped into my head, but that was what it felt like. It felt like I had a pressure on this solid piece of bone. I knew this would be good for me, so I said nothing. Most of the time I kept my eyes closed, but I watched her work on my third chakra, and when she was finished, the pressure was totally gone. She moved up to the remaining chakras and then finished by circling around my body with some hand motions. I asked her about it all after and she explained some of the symbolism behind opening and balancing the chakras, as well as the "stitching" she was doing of my aura at the end. It all felt like a beautiful ceremony. I felt very relaxed. She used the pendulum again across my chakras and it spun in circles as it is supposed to when they are functioning properly. We spent quite a bit of my appointment time on the chakra balancing, but I know I needed it. 

The reflexology massage was wonderful too. It was very gentle as she applied pressure to specific points on my foot and calf. I felt no pain, and my foot felt great after. She also did a lymphatic drainage on my right leg. This would help with inflammation. It was also very gentle and pain free. It was one of the options I was considering when booking the appointment, because it detoxed the body and can help with weight loss. She told me it usually helps more with inches but she actually had a client who lost 7 pounds in a day from it. She applied some Kinesio tape and said next time she'd tape up my whole foot to help align my foot better. She told me to use a soft roller under my foot at home to loosen the fascia.

 Kim told me she would email me some information about gluten free bread and flour, steps on keeping my chakras balanced, and some other info (which she did right after I left). She walked me to the waiting area and I felt nothing short of euphoric. My entire body was calm, I didn't have a care in the world and I was pain free. I seriously felt spectacular.

Kim gave me some lymphatic cream to try and I found the chakra discs waiting patiently on the table I left them at. My sweet husband managed to keep himself from being lulled to sleep by the music, and headed outside to swing the car around so I wouldn't have to walk far. 

I thanked Kim for her help and set up an appointment for two weeks from now for another reflexology massage and the lymphatic drainage. I can't wait! The next day Kim responded to my email response and mentioned the Reiki classes again. I signed up to get my Reiki 1 certification in November. 

The journey continues next week...

For more information:
Integrative Healing Institute: Click here
Chakra stone set: Click here
Body Massager: Click here


In Gratitude & Love,

Kerri Mulhern
www.suitablegifts.com

Week One: Mellow Yellow

The first night for me to rest my aching foot and take care of myself, my oldest son came into my bedroom. His dad had collapsed and was in the emergency room. Fortunately he was OK, but he was dehydrated and needed to spend the night at the hospital. My son needed to go visit him and pick up his car. I asked him to ask his step-dad to take him since I couldn't drive. I couldn't believe I actually said that. Normally I would forgo my health and needs for everyone else, especially my family.  I was surprised that came out first, and of course afterwards I had regrets. 

It was not an issue at all for my husband to take him downtown to the hospital. The problem was me. I felt like I wasn't being a good mom. I felt like I was letting my son down and making him feel like he wasn't important enough.  I think that's why I tend to go overboard on everything, because I want the ones I love to know I love them. I always feel like whatever I do is never enough. But feeling all of this, I didn't jump in to save the day, because I knew deep inside I didn't need to. I knew this was a test to see if I would really take care of myself. Everything would be taken care of without me.

And that was another thing to deal with. Everything would be taken care of without me. Everything could have always been taken care of without me. I just never wanted to give up control. As I was sitting on the bed listening to them get ready to head outside (and fighting the urge to hobble down the stairs and hop in the car with them), I thought about what control and trying to do it all meant to me. I felt that if I wasn't doing everything, what meaning did I have? 

Several months ago I spoke to a medical intuitive. We were talking about my weight gain and hormones. Towards the end of the conversation she told me that I was the poster child for third chakra issues. I can tell you with 100 percent certainty, I didn't discuss anything personal other than weight gain and hormones. I gave her no reason to say what comes next. But, she's an intuitive. She said I feel like I have to constantly be doing for others and I need to find another way. This describes me to a T. Third chakra synchronicities have been coming at me left and right for a long time, and I know when that happens, I need to pay attention. I didn't realize that I was being given so many signs until I spoke to the intuitive. 

When I bought my car two years ago, I wanted to name her. This was the first time I ever named a car I owned. I picked the name Jophiel for Archangel Jophiel. This was not an Archangel I was really familiar with but I wanted my car to feel joyful. I just found out through Tara LaDue's Came to Believe book that Archangel Jophiel's color frequency is yellow. 

About a year ago, I was absolutely craving the color yellow in my home. I was never a fan of yellow, but I suddenly needed that color. And I have never craved a color before! I picked up yellow pillows for our couch, a bright yellow tablecloth for the dining room table, yellow candles for the fireplace, and I felt better. I never thought about the third chakra when I had that yellow craving, but now I understand it. I was intuitively trying to heal myself. 

I started searching for the spiritual meaning of foot pain, and when I found a chart of where the chakras fall on the foot, the third chakra is the arch, right where I'm hurting.

The third chakra (Manipura), obviously represented by the color yellow, is about self esteem, personal power, confidence, digestion, and metabolism. It gets weakened by shame, embarrassment and self-consciousness. It supports your liver, pancreas, gallbladder, stomach and spleen. 

I've been thinking about the spiritual reasons behind foot pain so that I can heal this from the inside out. Reasons can include: 

• Connection with Mother Nature (not being grounded)
• Pushing too hard mentally, emotionally, and physically
• Soul is seeking a different foundation or way to step out into the world
• Needing to stand on my own two feet
• Our feet "relate the energies of grounding and manifestation of our life purposes" "they also retain the memories of the many paths our soul has trailed on earth and beyond through our previous life-times."
• Being stepped on
• Not wanting to move forward
• Can't move forward
• Can't put my right foot forward
• I need to take the right steps
• Taking a stand
• Being a support system for everyone else
• Feeling responsible for holding everything together
• Needing support

I seem to qualify for quite a few of those reasons. I am back to meditating more consistently now, so I know I will find the answer. 

A few days later I had another test. My youngest son was sick and needed to go to the doctor. Do you think there has ever been a doctors appointment I've missed for my sons? Of course not. So here we go again with guilt and letting go of control. Not easy, but I did it and my son was well taken care of and feeling better within hours of taking the medicine he needed. So I know part of this is feeling like I need to be the one holding everything together. Now I need to know that I don't, and be OK with that. 

I have been going to the gym to help with my weight loss goals, but other than that, it's been working at my desk and sedentary activities while everyone else in my household helps so I can rest my foot. I am grateful for the help because I am already feeling less drained, and my foot feels better. I also have had time now to read, blog, draw, paint, and take care of myself again. I need to find balance when the physical healing is done so I can be a healthy and happy participant in my family instead of depleting myself. I need to retrain my way of thinking and change old patterns that really weren't helping anyone.

Until next week...

In Love & Gratitude,

Kerri Mulhern
www.suitablegifts.com

Book Review: Came to Believe by Tara Danielle LaDue

I "came to" know Tara LaDue through Instagram. It still amazes me how easy it has been to connect to your soul tribe through social media. Getting to know Tara the last couple of years and watching her reach her goal of writing this book has been nothing short of inspiring. She has shown through intention and hard work, that everything is possible.

I believe that everything comes to us at the right moment to help us. I had ordered Tara's book months ago but had some other books lined up that I was reading first. The day I felt compelled to read Came to Believe: A Journey of Trust, Faith and Perseverence, I was struggling with a right foot injury. Tara's book begins with her breaking her right ankle, the beginning of her awakening. 

There were so many similarities that I found in myself through Tara's book: her love of Wayne Dyer and all things Hay House, being the caretaker, not wanting to depend on other people, OCD tendencies, and on and on. I fully appreciate Tara's honesty and willingness to expose the innermost parts of herself in order to heal. It is truly brave and I admire it so. I know you will find yourself in her story too, because it is clear in reading, that her story was not only meant to heal herself, but to help heal others.

I learned so much about the archangels, chakras, angels, and manifesting through Tara's book. This is her memoir, but it also is a useful guide to learn about the steps from going from a job that pays the bills, towards transitioning to the life you really want. 

Came to Believe is overflowing with spirituality. Tara is quite a gifted card reader. She is connected to the angels, and is constantly deepening that connection though yoga, classes, courses, books and more. She helps us to remember how divinely guided we are, and that even in difficult times, we are never alone. The divine is always holding our hand, we just need to grab it right back. 

www.taraladue.com

Came to Believe shows how life lines up for you when you release your intention to the universe and let go of outcome. Tara LaDue guides us through the synchronicities, miracles, and manifestations that occur throughout her journey. She shows us how much you can grow from a (in her case literal) fall. 

I highly recommend this book. Tara's journey reminds me of the text Footprints in the Sand. She is unable to put both feet on the ground and is carried on this spiritual adventure to becoming who she really is. Not only is Tara a beautiful soul, she is an inspiration for anyone wanting to change, grow, realize their dreams, forgive, inspire, heal, and trust.

To reach Tara LaDue:
Tara's Book: Click here
Tara LaDue's website: http://www.taraladue.com/



In Gratitude & Love,

Kerri Mulhern
www.suitablegifts.com

I Can't Put My Foot Down

My feet have been a longtime source of pain for me. I have had flat feet since I was a child. I was lucky enough to work for a podiatrist for a short time when I was 19. He x-rayed my feet and noticed there were some extra bone chips in there. He asked "Were you dropped as a baby?" That certainly would explain more than my foot problems! 

He fitted me for orthotics and I was on my way to pain-free living, it was a Godsend. Over the years I didn't keep up with taking care of my feet and my trusty orthotics are long gone. I would periodically have plantar fascitis, but it would always feel better the more I walked.  

Almost 2 years ago I called in to Denise Linn's Hay House radio show to ask her about foot pain and if it could tie into a past life. She told me she could see me from the knee down hundreds of years ago. I was in Poland or Russia. I was a refugee, but what was odd to her was that I was all alone, I wasn't traveling with anyone. She saw me barefoot walking in the cold dirt and snow. I have wondered since if the chips in my foot were a remnant from that life so long ago. And I also wonder what the lesson is that I need to learn that caused these symptoms to appear in this lifetime. 

The last several months, my right foot has given me tremendous pain. So much so that after a short time on my feet, I was literally dragging that foot along, because any weight on it was excruciating. I had gained quite a bit of weight before the pain, so I assumed it was from that. I wanted to lose the weight before seeing a doctor, how could he help if that was the issue? Also, to be quite honest, going to a doctor while believing that my fat was causing this, was humiliating, I couldn't bring myself to it. I imagine that there are other overweight people that also deny themselves help because they don't want to be seen. I have felt that way often. Even though I wouldn't judge anyone for being overweight, I judge myself harshly, and I hide.

I even reached out to a remote healer. She took a look at my foot (over the phone) and told me she was removing the inflammation. She said I just needed one chiropractic adjustment and I would be fine. For three days after talking to her, I was completely pain free.  I didn't see a chiropractor, because honestly it was the fat issue again. I'm embarrassed to admit that, but it's the truth.

In desperation I went to the Good Feet Store to get some orthotics. I didn't realize walking in that they weren't custom. They are a manufactured orthotic that the salesperson pulled from the back room. I also didn't realize I'd be hobbling out of the store $1,000 poorer. But as I mentioned, I was desperate. They did help a little, but I knew there was still something seriously wrong.

Finally I realized that I needed to swallow my pride and see a podiatrist. I often passed a foot and ankle clinic when I was out shopping at a local shopping center. I Googled it, found good reviews and made an appointment. 

The appointment felt like an ambush. I'm being a bit dramatic with that description, but it was odd and overwhelming.  The podiatrist came sweeping into the room with his latest associate to the practice. After asking for a brief synopsis of my injury he began examining my foot with a pen. He pushed with his hand on parts of my foot asking for my rate of pain, scribbling the number on my foot and relaying the proper medical name for his diagnosis to the associate. This went on for several minutes.  He concluded that I needed 6 different surgical procedures.  He asked his new associate for his opinion, to which he commented that he didn't agree on one of the procedures. He said the practice he worked at previously didn't have much success with it. The main doctor kept trying to be witty and how horrible my feet were (even the one not hurting), but it all just didn't feel right.  I mean, seriously, I just expected a steroid injection and some ice packs. 

He told me all of the names of the procedures but not the diagnosis. He said I pulled a tendon that stretches from the calf to my arch. I later Googled it and it appears to be Posterior Tibial Tendonitis. It looks like it can cause your arch to collapse. But my arches have always been collapsed. The doctor told me that a bone inside my foot wasn't being supported, it was essentially rolling around in there. He pulled up the x-rays they took of both my feet to show a gap between that particular bone and another on top of it The gap was supposed to show why I was in pain. When he zoomed in and compared both feet, the gap looked exactly the same in both pictures. He even commented so. 

I told him I wanted to be more conservative, so he gave me a boot to wear and told me to consider getting a knee scooter to keep weight completely off my right foot.  He downplayed the effectiveness of orthotics even thought he insisted I use them, even in the boot. He was going to give me some nitroglycerin cream to put on my foot, but he mentioned not to use if it I had high blood pressure. I didn't want to take a chance with it, but I did buy the tendon strengthening vitamins he suggested. He wants to see me back in 3 weeks. I am glad I went to see him, because I thought I might have somehow broken or fractured something. It is good to know what is causing the pain.

I continued to Google like a lunatic and found exercises to heal the tendon, instructions to use Motrin and ice, and to give it rest. It could take 6 weeks to heal, and using my foot again too soon could undo any rest I've given it. I also read a blog on someone who had the foot surgery and it sounds quite painful, could take a year to heal, and even my doctor said I still might not be able to walk as I had before after it.

I also had a wonderful call with the incredibly kind and uber talented Gary Ramsey (if you haven't read his book Bliss: One Hero's Journey, you need to get it!). He works with clients employing the Alexander Technique and provided me with healing visualizations (which have worked every time I have pain!), taught me how to walk properly, gave me additional tips to sooth the pain, how to sleep, taught me how important it is to strengthen my calf muscles, and more. I'm very, very grateful to Gary for his help.

So this is what's happening, 6 weeks off my feet. But it is more than that. Our outer circumstances reflect something inward, and that is what I will be discovering over these weeks. I will also be letting go of all of the things I "have to" do and take care of myself. I have to ask for help and allow others to be there for me. Much as that past life described, I tend to do it all alone, I don't want to bother anyone else, I don't like to ask for help. This is a journey of not moving, but nonetheless, I know I'm headed somewhere to heal something that has been neglected for a long time. I am going to take this time to meditate, pray, write, create, reflect, eat healthier, and exercise (just not on the foot!). This is a time for reflection and transformation and I'm looking forward to sharing it all with you.  

In Gratitude & Love

Kerri Mulhern
www.suitablegifts.com