21 Days...

I'm sure you've all heard that it takes 21 days to form a new habit. Well, I've decided to use that to work on my intentions for this year. My soul is leading the way. Oh the beautiful soul, it's always guiding us towards the best version of ourselves. It speaks so gently though, that our negative ego voice usually drowns it out. The more that I have been meditating, the easier it has become to hear its gentle nudges.

I have decided to work on something new every 21 days. Immersing myself completely in one area at a time, will give it roots to last beyond that time. As I move on to my next project, I will carry the one completed with me. It's not so I will end up with an overwhelming amount to do, but rather so I will continue to engage myself in all of the favorable ways my soul is pulling me towards. Habits are easy, so the goal is to have some really healthy and positive ones.

To begin, I've chosen space clearing (also known as clutter clearing). It is the one thing that bugs me the most. I chose it because I knew I would be thinking it about it the entire 3 weeks even if I chose something else. I want to be completely mindful of whatever it is that I'm working on. There will be no guilt, unreasonable demands, or struggles during these 21 days. This is about change, but it doesn't need to be miserable. It will all be joyful. 

I don't have a mess in my home. Well, except for this closet...

Oh well, there's no need to hide it from you. We're all friends here, right? There's so much crammed in there from business inventory, crafts, art supplies, kids memories to office supplies. It's the tiniest closet in the house, but it's in my office where I am most of the time, so in everything goes!

Generally, I've gotten much better at letting go and keeping things orderly. I have grown to prefer having much less. But, there is more to let go of: clothes that I don't wear or even like, office paperwork (that always seems to pile up), computer files, emails, tons and tons of photos & videos that need to be organized, and so many of my kids' memories. The kids' memories are the hardest for me to part with, but I know I will find some creative ways to wean and organize (Thank goodness for iPhones and flash drives, you can save everything in such a tiny space!). 

So that's where I'm starting, and I will report back in on what happens. Here are some other thoughts I have for upcoming 21 days throughout this year:

1. Fun & play. Very much needed!
2. Art. I went to college for art, and over the last 20 years I have barely made time to create. I miss it.
3. Writing. Another passion that I need to be more consistent with.
4. Reading. I love to read and learn, but I want to do more of it.
5. Nature. I love being outside, but I don't make the time for it. This will do it!
6. Flexibility. I currently have the flexibility of a 2x4.
7. Something new. I want to try new things that I have never done before. It's great for the brain and ramps up those courage muscles!
8. Living meditation. It's something I have thought about for quite awhile. I don't just want to feel the peace I have during and just after meditation. I want to live it all day by being mindful of it.

I will be making lots lists to prepare for what I will be doing. I just love lists (I probably should be doing 21 days of spontaneity...we'll see). If you have any thoughts for fun, nature, etc let me know! Do you have any intentions for this year? Share in the comments, I'd love to hear from you!

In Gratitude and Love,

Kerri
www.suitablegifts.com

Being The Witness

My youngest son and I were out running some errands one weekend recently. We stopped by his high school, next to Wal-Mart and then the the gas station to fill up the tank. As we headed back home he stated "When I'm older I want to make alot of money so I can give it to people who need it." Whoah, wow! There was nothing in our conversation to prompt it, it just came out. And I was the witness. 

My older son has told me many stories of his giving. It's not because he was bragging. He often hangs out in my office after his day at college, and it is just in regular conversation. He has told me of times that he's done kindnesses for his friends and times he's given money to customers at his job because they didn't have enough. He gives to give, not expecting anything in return. It's beautiful. And I was the witness.

There have been so many moments that I have been the witness to both of my sons. I have seen kindness, compassion, gentleness, humor and more. It is such a blessing. I feel so honored to have the role of mom to these two beautiful souls. Dr. Wayne Dyer has often repeated a piece of this quote by Khalil Gibran, and it is exactly how I feel about being a parent:

On Children

 Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
That His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

I don't allow my ego to believe for one minute that the wonderful beings that they are, is because of me. I was blessed to have them, and they are so wanted and loved. I was (and still am) there to take care of them, watch them grow, protect them (hovering sometimes a bit too much!) and be their witness. The best part is being their witness. And the times they don't realize their beauty and magnificence, I tell them what I've witnessed in them. They have been my witness too. They have seen love, compassion, and honesty, but they have also seen anger, impatience and more from me. I believe that they choose the path they will take based on what they've witnessed throughout their lives through home, school, friends and the world they live in. They are unique souls on their unique path.

I also don't believe they owe me anything for being their parent. They are not here for me, they are here for their purpose. I don't own them, but I do love them with all my heart. I would give my life for them. When they feel pain, I feel pain. When they feel joy, so do I. But I don't want them to be me, I want them to be who they are. I don't encourage them to take part in sports or do well in school to stroke my ego. I encourage them to do the best they are able and try new things to find out what they like and who they are. You will never hear me say "He's just like me,"or "Thanks to me, he accomplished that." I am proud of them for them, not for my sake.

As Kahlil Gibran says, "you may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you." That's it! I learn so much from them. As the years have gone by, they have taught me so much about being a parent, the importance of having a kinder heart and calmer disposition. They have taught me patience, love, joy and so much more. I will forever be grateful for the beautiful gifts they are, and for being their witness.


In Gratitude and Love,

Kerri Mulhern
www.suitablegifts.com

My Name is Kerri, and I'm a Chocoholic

Yes, I admit it. And in the admitting, I am set free. I have had a sugar addition since I was quite young. Candy, icecream, cookies, cake (you get the idea) have been in my daily diet for decades. I craved it, stockpiled it, hid it and devoured it.

At my annual doctor's appointment last month, my doctor went over my blood work with me. My cholesterol had dropped 5 points since last year, thyroid was healthy, blood sugar was perfect, everything was in normal range. "I'm addicted to sugar!" I blurted out. There, I said it. I needed to say it. She wasn't asking for it in the least, but I needed to own it, share it and let it go. We talked about it for a bit, she gave me some advice and sent me on my way.

Since that appointment, my sugar craving is gone. I don't think that was the only reason for it, but it was the final piece I needed. For quite some time now, I have been making steps towards better health. I have been listening to my intuition and immersing myself in healthier reading, TV and radio programs. Many ideas and repetitive signs to take action have been coming my way, so I followed them.

I have a list of intentions ("I am's") that I state when I meditate. Here are some of them:

• I am thin.
• I am perfect wellness.
• I am losing weight quickly and healthfully.
• I am craving healthy foods.

I have also been praying for help in eliminating my sugar cravings and eating better.

I have been eating healthier, going to the gym, and have even started using a hula hoop (it's a bit comical right now, but I plod on!). I have really felt like everything I needed to do to live a healthier life was coming together wonderfully except for the sugar. And honestly, I was so addicted, I didn't know if I wanted to give it up. I knew it was toxic, and at times I even felt angry from it after eating it. It gave me brain fog, forgetfulness and exhaustion. Yes, the chocolate bar cried out for me, and I always relented. The cravings were incredibly intense.

A few weeks before the doctor appointment, I had given up my morning muffins. It was a staple with my morning coffee (no sugar in the coffee, I was actually able to give that up last year). There were 4 tiny chocolate chip muffins in a bag. Total junk. There were at least two occasions where I opened a bag, ate a muffin and tasted some weird chemical, carbon dioxide-ish burst of yuk. I don't know if it was from what they fill the bag with (like they do with potato chip bags to keep the chips from crushing), but you would think that would have stopped me from buying them. Nope. Get buying, kept shoving them in my pie hole. Addiction at its finest.

There were just so many layers to my addiction to sugar. It was my escape when I was anxious, my reward when I accomplished something, it was my go to for everything. Sad? Candy. Happy? Candy. Tired? Candy. Candy, candy and more candy with a side of donuts. You can not even imagine the sheer volume of sweets I could consume in a day. I knew all of the junk was actually starving my body (even though it was ballooning on the outside), but I couldn't stop it.

I believe in the Law of Attraction. What you put out into the universe as an intention or belief, will appear. It took some time, but it happened. I persisted with my desire to change by envisioning it, and knowing that I would connect to better health. I continue to envision myself at the ideal weight I would like to be, and I know I will be that. I am not on a diet, I'm not starving myself. I just cut out the candy fest, soda, cakes...I could go on but you know what I'm talking about! Sugar!! I even made it through Halloween with candy in the house, and didn't have a bite. And it wasn't difficult for me. 

For the first time, I haven't had any sugar withdrawals. I have tried in the past to let go of sugar, usually combined with a low-calorie diet, and I was miserable. I'm not counting calories this time, but I am eating so much healthier that I'm losing weight.

Here are some points that I feel have really helped me make this change:

• Start with a desire.
• Set an intention (write it down, say it aloud...often)
• Watch for the signs (and your intuition) and follow them.
• Pray.
• Meditate on your intention.
• Live as if what you want is already here. The universe will provide you with what you put out there. Speak, think and feel like it already is in existence (It may take practice, but you can do it!).
• Feel worthy. Know that you deserve all the joy, love, peace, health, abundance and more that you want. And there is enough of it all for everyone.
• Be patient. The change could occur immediately, or take some time (as mine did). Giving up will never get you where you want to be.
• Express gratitude. Give thanks for everything. And give thanks as if what you want is already here. "Thank you for my quick and easy weight loss" etc.

I'll be giving updates on my health journey. Feel free to comment and share your journey too!

In Gratitude and Love,

Kerri Mulhern
www.suitablegifts.com

A Tale Of Three Angels

Fifteen years ago a wonderful man came into my life. I often told him that he was my angel. On my first birthday I celebrated with him, he gave me this beautiful angel necklace to remind me. It became a symbol of love and protection for me. 

I remember one day I wasn't wearing the angel and a truck backed into me at a stop light. I wear it very often, sometimes wrapped around my wrist when I'm wearing a different necklace.I'm not attached to many physical things anymore, but aside from my wedding rings, this is one of the most meaningful things I own. 

I had taken it off recently and thought I had placed it on the bathroom counter top. When I realized it wasn't there, I tried to remember why I took it off. I thought it was when I colored my hair, as not to get any dye on it. I was hoping that I hadn't accidentally thrown it out with the packaging and dye bottles.

My next go to place was my jewelry drawer. I have organizer trays that hold my necklaces, bracelets and earrings. It must be there. Nope. I went back to that drawer (and the bathroom counter top) about 10 times.

I didn't panic about this. I normally do. I heard recently that worrying blocks you, and I wanted to stay open, knowing that I would find it. I could truly sense that this would work. My intuition is getting strong and louder, now that I'm allowing it. Every time I started to have a fearful thought, I stopped it and reminded myself that I would find it by remaining calm. I tried to remember which archangel it was that could specifically help. And I know Saint Anthony is known for finding lost objects too. But I just spoke generally to the angels asking for help. I did this several times over a few days.

Saturday morning I took my eight-seventh scan of the counter top and jewelry drawer to no avail. I thought, maybe I stuck it in a pair of pants, meaning to put i back in the drawer. I went into my closet and went through all of my jeans. No necklace.

I walked towards the front of the closet (it's like a long, narrow hallway) and to the left are shelves for shoes, gift wrapping supplies, bags and more. It's not here, I thought. Why would it be? But I stopped for a moment and looked anyway. Even though it didn't make any sense, I felt like I should look.

I noticed a bag laying on its side with a jewelry box in it. I didn't remember putting it there. I pulled the box out for a second and thought of just putting it back in the bag. I thought, open it. So I did. I saw the soft, grey pouch that I know so well. I almost closed the box, that piece of jewelry was already in my drawer. Then I thought, open the pouch. It still made no sense to me, but I opened it. Can you guess what was inside?

I had goosebumps all over my arms when I saw the necklace (I even have them now, typing this). I thanked the angel who helped me. Honestly, I felt a bit unworthy at first. But I'm working on this. I know feeling that way only blocks me from getting closer to the divine. I also know deep down, that every single one of us is worthy. So that doesn't mean everyone, except me.

I was planning on spending the day going through my entire bedroom looking for it. I had scanned the room briefly and I'm embarrassed to say I did find a cache of dusty M&M's behind my bedroom table. Clearly some deep cleaning and dietary changes are in order. But that's a whole different story (and will be blogged about, of course!).

So instead of spending the day searching, I am outside writing amongst the trees, birds, butterflies and Scar (a beautiful kitty who I will also be blogging about soon!). I will also spend the day raking leaves, hugging trees, feeling extremely grateful, and loving this amazing gift of life.

The more that you ask for a connection to the divine, the more you receive it. The louder their voices get, and the quieter your ego voice gets. They are speaking to us all the time. The more I meditate, the more I attune with those gentle, guiding nudges. I don't dismiss them anymore. It is getting easier and easier, and more and more beautiful. 

I know this angel necklace, given to me by my angel, was found with the guidance of an angel. Those voices we hear, those thoughts and feelings we get that sometimes don't seem to make sense, are our angels, our guides, our own divine wisdom. They will get louder and clearer if you want them to. You only need to ask and trust. We have the unlimited universe within us and around us, why not access it?

In Gratitude,

Kerri Mulhern
www.suitablegifts.com

Book Review: Assertiveness for Earth Angels by Doreen Virtue

I absolutely love Doreen Virtue and I've never met a Hayhouse book I haven't liked. As a recovering people pleaser, Assertiveness for Earth Angels: How to be Loving Instead of "Too Nice" by Doreen Virtue was the perfect choice as my latest read. This one actually screamed out to me. 

Doreen describes Earth Angels as highly sensitive people with an innocence regarding love and life, believing in God's loving power, gentle, caring, seeing the best in others, trusting, optimistic and more. She digs deep into the many pitfalls of being such a sensitive being, and how to learn to be assertive without being aggressive.

For as far back as I can remember, I have found myself giving too much, and yet still feeling like it was not enough. I always had high expectations for what I needed to do for others, but never held anyone to that impossible standard. I even helped people who were quite capable of helping themselves. After reading Doreen's book, I learned that my jumping in to try and "save" them didn't really do them any favors. They have their own path, and their own lessons to learn. I also learned that giving for the wrong reasons can cause resentment, fatigue, money issues, health issues and more. Pure giving, she teaches, is not out of guilt, feeling sorry or obligation. 

She discusses how to set healthy boundaries, how to handle professional victims, gossipers, martyrs, guilt trippers, toxic relationships, narcissists and sociopaths (who tend to take advantage of kind, giving people). 

I was an extremely sensitive and quiet child. Although I was often bullied, it was always easier to stand up for others. I could feel their pain and I didn't want them to suffer. I remember my college years and so enjoying going out with my friends. But I also remember not liking large crowds. Trust me, we had lots of fun together, but I also remember feeling drained (not from my dear friends, just the crowd around us) and needing time by myself too. I honestly felt weird for that. Now at 48, I am more sensitive than ever. I absorb everyone's energy, whether positive or negative. It wears on me. I didn't realize that is what was happening to me, until I read Doreen's book. I thought that I wasn't a strong enough person to have my own thoughts and feelings. I felt weak. That's not what it is. I'm empathic. Picking up on the feelings of my classmates when I was a child, was because I truly could feel what they were feeling. Needing quiet time through my college years (and now too), was because the energy I was picking up was exhausting me. I feel very grateful to Doreen that I can now feel compassion towards myself for who I am, instead of criticism. There are so many ways to look at a situation, and more and more I am taking the positive view. That is what is so wonderful about reading books like this, you can find who you really are, and let go of that negative voice.

Doreen shows how how to enjoy life instead of people pleasing. She talks about following your passion and shows how we can use delay tactics instead of working on our life purpose by overeating, compulsive shopping, addictive internet surfing, substance abuse and more.

She shows us how to shield ourselves from harsh energies with crystals, angel lights, clearing, grounding and trees (yes, go hug a tree, it heals!). Also, you will learn how to have more time and energy by exercising, stretching and releasing, and eating healthfully. 

There is so much wonderful information packed into this book, and what I love about Doreen, is that she is honest and caring. She guides us to be truthful with ourselves about our real intentions, and provides so many tools to live an authentic, positive, peaceful and purposeful life.

As you can probably tell by now, I highly recommend this book.

In Gratitude,

Kerri Mulhern
www.suitablegifts.com