I Can't Put My Foot Down

My feet have been a longtime source of pain for me. I have had flat feet since I was a child. I was lucky enough to work for a podiatrist for a short time when I was 19. He x-rayed my feet and noticed there were some extra bone chips in there. He asked "Were you dropped as a baby?" That certainly would explain more than my foot problems! 

He fitted me for orthotics and I was on my way to pain-free living, it was a Godsend. Over the years I didn't keep up with taking care of my feet and my trusty orthotics are long gone. I would periodically have plantar fascitis, but it would always feel better the more I walked.  

Almost 2 years ago I called in to Denise Linn's Hay House radio show to ask her about foot pain and if it could tie into a past life. She told me she could see me from the knee down hundreds of years ago. I was in Poland or Russia. I was a refugee, but what was odd to her was that I was all alone, I wasn't traveling with anyone. She saw me barefoot walking in the cold dirt and snow. I have wondered since if the chips in my foot were a remnant from that life so long ago. And I also wonder what the lesson is that I need to learn that caused these symptoms to appear in this lifetime. 

The last several months, my right foot has given me tremendous pain. So much so that after a short time on my feet, I was literally dragging that foot along, because any weight on it was excruciating. I had gained quite a bit of weight before the pain, so I assumed it was from that. I wanted to lose the weight before seeing a doctor, how could he help if that was the issue? Also, to be quite honest, going to a doctor while believing that my fat was causing this, was humiliating, I couldn't bring myself to it. I imagine that there are other overweight people that also deny themselves help because they don't want to be seen. I have felt that way often. Even though I wouldn't judge anyone for being overweight, I judge myself harshly, and I hide.

I even reached out to a remote healer. She took a look at my foot (over the phone) and told me she was removing the inflammation. She said I just needed one chiropractic adjustment and I would be fine. For three days after talking to her, I was completely pain free.  I didn't see a chiropractor, because honestly it was the fat issue again. I'm embarrassed to admit that, but it's the truth.

In desperation I went to the Good Feet Store to get some orthotics. I didn't realize walking in that they weren't custom. They are a manufactured orthotic that the salesperson pulled from the back room. I also didn't realize I'd be hobbling out of the store $1,000 poorer. But as I mentioned, I was desperate. They did help a little, but I knew there was still something seriously wrong.

Finally I realized that I needed to swallow my pride and see a podiatrist. I often passed a foot and ankle clinic when I was out shopping at a local shopping center. I Googled it, found good reviews and made an appointment. 

The appointment felt like an ambush. I'm being a bit dramatic with that description, but it was odd and overwhelming.  The podiatrist came sweeping into the room with his latest associate to the practice. After asking for a brief synopsis of my injury he began examining my foot with a pen. He pushed with his hand on parts of my foot asking for my rate of pain, scribbling the number on my foot and relaying the proper medical name for his diagnosis to the associate. This went on for several minutes.  He concluded that I needed 6 different surgical procedures.  He asked his new associate for his opinion, to which he commented that he didn't agree on one of the procedures. He said the practice he worked at previously didn't have much success with it. The main doctor kept trying to be witty and how horrible my feet were (even the one not hurting), but it all just didn't feel right.  I mean, seriously, I just expected a steroid injection and some ice packs. 

He told me all of the names of the procedures but not the diagnosis. He said I pulled a tendon that stretches from the calf to my arch. I later Googled it and it appears to be Posterior Tibial Tendonitis. It looks like it can cause your arch to collapse. But my arches have always been collapsed. The doctor told me that a bone inside my foot wasn't being supported, it was essentially rolling around in there. He pulled up the x-rays they took of both my feet to show a gap between that particular bone and another on top of it The gap was supposed to show why I was in pain. When he zoomed in and compared both feet, the gap looked exactly the same in both pictures. He even commented so. 

I told him I wanted to be more conservative, so he gave me a boot to wear and told me to consider getting a knee scooter to keep weight completely off my right foot.  He downplayed the effectiveness of orthotics even thought he insisted I use them, even in the boot. He was going to give me some nitroglycerin cream to put on my foot, but he mentioned not to use if it I had high blood pressure. I didn't want to take a chance with it, but I did buy the tendon strengthening vitamins he suggested. He wants to see me back in 3 weeks. I am glad I went to see him, because I thought I might have somehow broken or fractured something. It is good to know what is causing the pain.

I continued to Google like a lunatic and found exercises to heal the tendon, instructions to use Motrin and ice, and to give it rest. It could take 6 weeks to heal, and using my foot again too soon could undo any rest I've given it. I also read a blog on someone who had the foot surgery and it sounds quite painful, could take a year to heal, and even my doctor said I still might not be able to walk as I had before after it.

I also had a wonderful call with the incredibly kind and uber talented Gary Ramsey (if you haven't read his book Bliss: One Hero's Journey, you need to get it!). He works with clients employing the Alexander Technique and provided me with healing visualizations (which have worked every time I have pain!), taught me how to walk properly, gave me additional tips to sooth the pain, how to sleep, taught me how important it is to strengthen my calf muscles, and more. I'm very, very grateful to Gary for his help.

So this is what's happening, 6 weeks off my feet. But it is more than that. Our outer circumstances reflect something inward, and that is what I will be discovering over these weeks. I will also be letting go of all of the things I "have to" do and take care of myself. I have to ask for help and allow others to be there for me. Much as that past life described, I tend to do it all alone, I don't want to bother anyone else, I don't like to ask for help. This is a journey of not moving, but nonetheless, I know I'm headed somewhere to heal something that has been neglected for a long time. I am going to take this time to meditate, pray, write, create, reflect, eat healthier, and exercise (just not on the foot!). This is a time for reflection and transformation and I'm looking forward to sharing it all with you.  

In Gratitude & Love

Kerri Mulhern
www.suitablegifts.com

Honoring Wayne Dyer Through Giving - For The O'Bara Family: A Promise Is A Promise

August 30,2018 marks the third year since Dr. Wayne Dyer transitioned fully to spirit. I still speak to him and feel his presence. I know I'm not alone in this. I've been feeling a tremendous push to do kindnesses this past week and I think I know who's been pushing me! 

Wayne was always generous to others, whether handing out $100 bills to the homeless, or giving callers to his radio show a forum to promote their websites, products and services. As his life went on, the more generous he became. It was quite inspiring.

Dr. Wayne Dyer had often mentioned Edwarda O'Bara on his Hay House Radio show throughout the years. Wayne and his wife Marcelene even wrote a book in 1996 to support her mother Kaye and her family called A Promise Is A Promise. Kaye was deeply in debt paying for Edwarda's medical expenses, especially after her husband died in 1976. I have been feeling compelled lately to read the book and I finally placed an order last week. 

Wayne & Marcelene Dyer

Edwarda contracted pneumonia and fell into a diabetic coma when she was 16 years old. Just before she did, she asked her mother not to leave her. 

"Promise you won't leave me, will you, Mommy?" 

"Of course not, I would never leave you, Darling, 

I promise. And a promise is a promise!"

Kaye O'Bara kept her word and took care of Edwarda from 1970 until Kaye's death in 2008. This would include feeding her every 2 hours and checking on her insulin levels frequently. Kaye spent those years sleeping in a chair, no longer than 90 minutes at a time, right next to Edwarda's bed. "All I ever wanted in life was to have two girls. God was very good and granted me my wish," said Kaye. She showed her gratitude to God by taking care of Edwarda.

Edwarda O'Bara

A Promise Is A Promise is beautiful and I highly recommend reading it. Along with the accounts of Edwarda's life, there were miracles, healings, and visitations from the Blessed Mother. It is quite remarkable and beautifully written by Wayne and Marcelene.

Kaye & Edwarda

Edwarda's sister Colleen tended to her alone the last 5 years of her life after Kaye's passing. Edwarda passed to spirit in 2012 after 42 years in a coma. But what happened after? How does life go on for the one who is left behind? 

The O'Bara Family

I took a look at Edwarda's website and saw that Colleen was still posting updates. She is still in dire financial circumstances including debts from Edwarda's medical expenses.Colleen also has multiple sclerosis and is not able to always pay for her medicine. She is in danger of losing her home that she's lived in since a child. 

Colleen O'Bara

I sent in a donation and wrote a note that I wanted to write this blog to get the word out in hopes of more donations for her. I had hoped she was still receiving royalties on the book, but she isn't unfortunately. However, it probably would be better to just donate through her Paypal link as I did. She was very grateful for the help. 

I will continue to share this cause all week in honor of Wayne Dyer. He taught me so much about kindness and giving. This was a situation that meant something to him, and I feel compelled to help this beautiful soul in need. If you are able to contribute to Colleen's debt and medical needs,see below and thank you!

To donate to Colleen: http://www.edwardaobara.com/
To buy the book: A Promise Is A Promise - Click here

In Gratitude & Love (especially to Wayne),


Kerri Mulhern
www.suitablegifts.com

Book Review: Gleam by Tracey Grace

Gleam by Tracey Grace is not the typical book I read. It's fiction and I have immersed myself so much into spirituality and self help books, that I forgot how delightful it is to read a really great novel. The unexpected bonus in Gleam is that it's bathed in a spiritual essence that flows throughout this beautiful book. It shows the reality in facing a difficult situation, while implementing spiritual solutions. Life is a bit messy and Tracey Grace gives us a glimpse of this reality with humor, determination and triumph! 

I so enjoyed this book. I didn't have learn to fix myself, I didn't have to remember tips, techniques, healing remedies, or mantras. But I did get to see this through the eyes of another. Gleam is a delightful escape into the main character Clementine's journey towards loving herself and finding her purpose. The novel begins with Clementine separating from her long term partner and maneuvering through this new life in the best way possible for herself and her children. She is learning to live a life she wasn't expecting, but does so with honesty, hilarity and an openness to try new things. 

Clementine is such a relatable character and you can't help rooting for her during her trials and travails, as she learns about who she really is. It is fascinating to watch her evolve emotionally, physically, spiritually, and yes even sexually! She knows she needs to shake things up in her life to find her "gleam," and boy does she ever!

Gleam shows with raw honesty, what it really looks like to read law of attraction and positive affirmation books, take a yoga class, learn to meditate, and so on, while you are going through your life. It's not an instant transformation. When you are knocked down by unexpected circumstances in your life, sometimes you just don't want to say another "I am happy and whole," because you just don't feel that way. But, you can see in Gleam how it does seep in, it becomes a part of her. You can see how Clementine became so in tune with herself that she becomes her true self. 


For me personally, this book allowed me to give myself a break in more ways than one. It allowed me to take a breath and enjoy reading just for reading itself. It was pure joy getting lost in a story, its characters, and not with the purpose of improving myself. It's kind of funny that I was truly present, yet was doing so in a moment of escape in a great book! Another break for me in following Clementine's journey was that I realized that I don't have to be perfect in my own spiritual journey. Every time I have felt like I "failed," such as getting cross with someone, or not living up to what I feel the teachings are trying to show me, I end up feeling unworthy and a charlatan. Sometimes it makes me feel like giving up on my spiritual journey. But after reading Gleam, I can see in Clementine, the normality of going through life events, falling and getting back up again, being human, getting upset, angry, sad, all of it. Life isn't linear, and the falling down is part of the journey. Gleam has also inspired me to shake things up in my own life, to try new things and enjoy life more. Through reading this book, I've found my gleam as well, and for that I'm truly grateful. 

To buy Gleam: Click here
Follow Tracey Grace on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traceygraceauthor/


In Gratitude & Love,


Kerri Mulhern
www.suitablegifts.com

Book Review - Bliss: One Hero's Journey by Gary Ramsey

"You can die at any minute," Gary Ramsey's doctor informed him. What would you do with that kind of news? Could you traverse this challenge in a state of bliss? Would your trust your intuition to guide you at such a critical time? What if that guidance went against everyone else's opinion, would you still listen? Could you find the blessing in this? Would you find gratitude in the face of cancer and feel that it actually saved your life?

As spiritual as I would like to think I am, I would probably be in full fetal getting the news that Gary did. However, after reading Bliss, I feel much closer to knowing that all things are possible, and we have inside of us all we need to lead us towards complete healing in any aspect of our lives.

Bliss: One Hero's Journey by Gary Ramsey is a riveting and miraculous odyssey towards healing, awakening, and living in bliss no matter the circumstances. It is a spiritual, synchronistic, divine adventure into restoring mind, body, and soul to perfect wellness. It is about letting go of fear and embracing the present. It is about so many things...you must read this book.

On October 26, 2016 I was listening in as I always do, to Anita Moorjani's Hay House Radio Show. If you aren't signed up to listen to the archives on Hay House Radio, it is well worth $36 a year just to hear Gary's interview. I love listening to her show, but I was literally on the edge of my seat listening to Gary tell his story of receiving the worst diagnosis possible, and transcending to full recovery. I listened to the replay of his interview later in the evening, as well as every time it has been replayed since. I would run it on a loop if I could, it is so inspiring.

After listening to Gary Ramsey on air, I connected with him on Facebook. Gary is truly one of the kindest, generous, and most beautiful souls I have ever encountered. Chatting with him feels like you are wrapped in a big, warm hug. He is the embodiment of joy and positivity. I told him I was hoping he would write a book, and so many more listeners of the radio show had the same thought! I am so grateful that he did write this book to share his spectacular story. 

I knew I would love Bliss: One Hero's Journey, even before I received it. Gary is so captivating to listen to, that I was certain his humor, intelligence, and mesmerizing presence would translate seamlessly into book form. Bliss far surpassed my expectations. Normally when I read, I'll pace myself and read a chapter or two a night. I read this from cover to cover in one evening. I could not put the book down until it was finished. I was spellbound. And I will read it again and again, just as I have listened to Gary's interview so many times. This is the type of book that holds so much meaning, that I know I will gain even more insight the more I read it. Some books hold magic in them, and this is one of them.

I wanted to read this book because I was so intrigued by Gary's story. I had no idea there would be something in it to help me. I know that there is something in this book for everyone. Gary describes himself as a caretaker and I really resonated with that role. He realized that his decision to go away for treatment (out of the country!) would be instrumental in his healing.  If he stayed home to face this illness, he would be trying to help everyone else deal with their fears about his situation, instead of taking care of himself. Gary helped me realize on such a profound level, how critical and life saving it is to take care of yourself and value your own self worth. Gary certainly shows in this extreme way how you can deplete yourself when you give all of yourself away. This book has been such a revelation, and I am so grateful to Gary for that. 

I know that this book will help anyone facing a life threatening illness. It gives hope and self empowerment to honor your own inner voice guiding you towards what is best for you. It is for anyone facing a cancer or life-threatening diagnosis, anyone feeling fearful, for those who sacrifice themselves for everyone else, for those on a spiritual path, and for anyone who just wants to read an incredible journey towards healing.

Thank you Gary Ramsey for this beautiful gift to the world. This book is without a doubt, pure Bliss.

For more information on Gary Ramsey:
Buy the book Bliss: One Hero's Journey: Click here
Gary Ramsey on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/gary.ramsey.33
Gary Ramsey's  website: http://www.garyramsey.org/
Gary Ramsey interview on Anita Moorjani's Hay House Radio Show:  http://hhafftrk.com/?a=3653&c=6975&p=r&s1= 


In Gratitude & Love,


Kerri Mulhern
www.suitablegifts.com

A Tale Of Two Kitties

I started to write this blog five weeks ago when Bob first transitioned to spirit, and I have attempted to write this many times since. I know in my heart that Bob really hasn't left, but even knowing he's here, I still cry. There are innumerable ways Bob brought joy to our home and I miss the physical presence of our "Little Buddy." I am incredibly grateful for all of the kindness and support of family and friends, many of whom are also pet lovers and understand how hard the loss is. 

Bob and Pepper grew up together. Pepper came to us as a kitten when my youngest son was born. She was a perfect addition to our family and a cuddly companion for my 5 year old son. About a year later a stray black and white, young cat started coming into our backyard. My oldest son would call to him (and of course I would too, I haven't met a cat I didn't like), and soon he was stopping by for food. My son nicknamed him "Cow Cat" for his holstein markings. Soon enough he was ours (or we were his) and he became part of the family. My son eventually named him Bob, and although I can't explain it, it  fully suited him. Bob was a sweet but timid cat, and he loved Pepper so. He would groom her and she would let him. She was the queen of the house, and he was her servant. When she had enough she would give him a bite to step aside. She loved him too, but Pepper was in charge.

Pepper was my desk kitty, and would sleep next to my laptop every day when I worked. She wasn't a head booper, but she would lick my hand as a sign of affection. I would pet her and inevitably she would get overstimulated and bite me. It was funny, she wasn't trying to hurt, just like with Bob. But she could only handle so much love! Our dear Pepper lived for 15 years and left for spirit on July 19th, 2016. 

I would talk to Pepper after she passed and ask her for a sign. And every time I did, a sign would appear. I had been meditating quite a bit, which was opening me up to the signs that are all around us. I was already noticing that I would say or type a word, and at the same exact moment someone would say it on the radio, or on TV, or some other way. I started to jot it down in a notebook. The first entries in my journal were:   

8/17/16: Life
8/18/16: Paw
8/19/16: Anniversary

The 19th was the first month anniversary of losing Pepper. It has been easy to connect with her, there have been many signs. I've seen her in different rooms of our home out of the corner of my eye and it's very comforting. 

Losing Bob has felt so much harder. He had a thyroid condition and a heart murmur, but there was more going on that wasn't uncovered. The day before he died, the vet said he has a large heart (instead of the more common "enlarged heart.") but it was so Bob. It was a perfect description. He had a large heart filled with love and gentleness. 

Bob was a tiny six pound cat, but he filled our entire home. He was with me from the time he woke me up at 5:30 every morning howling to eat, until I fed him his evening snack at night. He wasn't a desk cat like Pepper, but he would sleep on the chair in my office when I worked, or next to my filing cabinet. He would follow me to watch me cook after work. Every night after dinner he would jump on the couch and sleep next to me. He waited for my older son to come home from work at night and would scratch at his shoes and follow him for his french fries. He used all of our shoes as a scratching post, which was really amusing since he didn't have front claws. It was this gentle, soft pawed, daily patting of our shoes.  At night, he would snuggle with my youngest son in his room. 

Bob and I had a staircase routine too. If I walked up the stairs, he would catch up to me and walk with me step by step. If I stopped at a step, he would stop. It was always together. I would laugh and sing "Wherever we go, whatever we do, we're gonna get through it together..." So many funny, quirky, loveable things about Bob. Even giving him his twice a day thyroid medicine was a joy. I would scoop him up, kiss his head and easily squirt the dropper in his mouth. His only act of defiance was what we called the "paw of injustice." Bob would ever so gently press his paw against my arm. But that was it. I loved that time with him to give him an extra hug. When he left, it became so clear what a huge, empty gap he left behind. 

A few weeks before Bob died, Pepper started to appear frequently. I could see her in the house out of the corner of my eye. She was on the staircase, in our bedroom, all over. I didn't think anything other than how nice it was to know she was around so much.  About a week before Bob left, my husband and I went for a walk around our neighborhood as we often do. As we walk we play the "count the kitties" game. I'm quite cat obsessed as you can tell, and there are so many cats in the neighborhood. I always like to find them and say hello. Sometimes they like it and sometimes they run (probably because I yell "KITTY!" pretty dang loud when I see them)! My husband usually doesn't note anything particular about the cats, this game is purely for my benefit. But on this walk he said "Oh that cat looks like Pepper." The day before he died, Pepper even showed up in my Facebook feed. She was everywhere.

Bob became clearly unwell one weekend, and that Monday we brought him to our vet. They kept him overnight and ran some tests. The next day he seemed a little better but they didn't have the means to do additional testing that he might need. The vet suggested we take him to a pet emergency clinic that she knew well. We went to pick Bob up and in the waiting area is a large segmented cage that can house 4 or more cats. There are usually kittens in there up for adoption, or it's empty. I glanced over and there was a huge grey cat that looked like Pepper. It was the only cat in there. It was really large, a much larger version of Pepper as if to say, look at me, I'm here. It was as fluffy as Pepper with those big green eyes, and she meowed at my husband.

We took Bob to the clinic, but he started having breathing problems and everything quickly went downhill from there. I had to make the hardest decision I have ever had to make, and never wanted to make. I said goodbye to Bob. We brought him home and he's in our yard next to Pepper.

I have asked Bob for signs of his presence. In the beginning I knew I was blocking the signs because of my sadness. But I also knew he was here, just like Pepper. I know we don't really die, our bodies do and we are left with our true essence. I know that love is real and all the negative aspects are an illusion for something we have yet to fully remember. What we have to remember is that we are all eternal. I have an oracle deck on my desk, Denise Linn's Sacred Traveler. After meditation, I asked Bob to tell me what he would most want me to know through the card I picked. What did he have to tell me? It was joy. I know I will connect with Bob when I am joyful, not sad. I know that he wants me to be happy.

And that is how it has been. I have seen Bob on the stairs, in the dining room, felt him sleep against my back as he used to do. He is here and his presence is getting stronger. I feel so much gratitude for having had these two wonderful cats in my life. They are pure love, they are divine beings. I am grateful for the time I had with both of them, for Pepper showing me that she was here to bring Bob with her, and for both of them for showing me they aren't really gone. I hope their lives are as beautiful now as they made ours, and I hope they feel all of the love back that they have given us.

In Gratitude & Love,

Kerri Mulhern
www.suitablegifts.com