Coming Out Of The Spiritual Closet

What you seek, is seeking you. -Rumi

I know in my heart that it is important to be yourself. I have often expressed that to my sons, especially when fitting in at school has been a challenge. I realized as I have continued on my spiritual path, that I was not being authentic with others. I was hiding who I was becoming, because I was afraid of what others would think. It is time to come out because I know that my children are learning from what I do, not what I say. If I'm not being myself, why should they?

I tried to be a part of a formal religion, but I always felt like an outsider looking in. I felt as I had much of my life, that I wasn't good enough. I really wanted to feel closer to God, but I wasn't sure what that meant.  I felt like a failure, I felt apart from it all. I remember going to a communion preparation class for one of my sons and was told that because I was divorced and remarried, I couldn't receive communion. I would have to have my first marriage annulled. This was a "What Would Jesus Do?" moment for me. Would that be what he would do to me? The Jesus that I resonate with is all loving and kind. And what was this teaching my children? I wanted them to have a love for God, a connection to the divine, but I didn't want them to feel that they had to be perfect. I feel that religion can be a beautiful thing if it feels right for you, I see the joy and connection that it gives to many. I love Saint Pio and Saint Francis, and so admire who they were and still are. I believe there are beautiful aspects and also similarities in many religions, and I have a respect for them all. 

I also had a misconception about spirituality. I thought it meant I would be getting to God the easy way, without all of the rules. I felt like I would be getting away with something, calling myself spiritual without the suffering for my sins and required rituals to prove my devotion. Well, it isn't like that either. I feel closer to God and to all living things since I started walking the spiritual path. I don't feel bad about myself or unworthy of God 's love as I did in the past.  For the first time, I feel like I belong. We are all connected, every single one of us. I see God inside of us, not apart from us. I value all of life, all of Earth, all of the universe, all that is seen and unseen. My mind is more open than it ever has been. I am more positive, grateful, kind and giving.  I appreciate all of the miracles that happen every day. I see the synchronicities and am more in touch with the flow of life. I am happier and I don't fear death anymore. I pray, meditate, talk to the angels and keep myself open to learning new ways of connecting with the divine.

Before I decided to let myself out of the spiritual closet, I am not really sure what I was expecting. I suppose a part of me was worried that I would be judged, and maybe it would take a piece of the joy that I was experiencing away.  I think part of me was also unsure of my new journey, not feeling completely confident in it myself. 

But I started to let the real me seep out little by little anyway.  And what I found out, was that more goodness came to me. I found people that I have known for decades that were on a similar path to mine.  I had no idea. I became more connected than ever before. Closing the door on fear, opened so many beautiful ones.

New people have and continue to come into my life. My small business is about kindness and love. Through social media, I am connecting with so many wonderful people on the same path. It has been comforting and joyful to share some of the same feelings and ideas with people who understand. And through them, I learn more and grow more.

Fear can create so many ideas that aren't the truth. They can even bring something into reality that you really don't want. I keep pushing against the fear, because my soul is insisting. I listen to my soul's voice more than my ego now, and it has much better advice for me! What I found when I decided to let go of fear and be who I am, is that I finally feel like I am home. Trust is everything. Trust in the divine and trust in yourself, because you are divine.

Tear off the mask, your face is glorious.-Rumi

Be yourself, you are even more amazing than you are letting everyone see.

In Gratitude,

Kerri
www.suitablegifts.com