This was certainly not something I was expecting. I held out writing about this sooner, because I wanted to find out what was happening to me first. Even though I had my suspicions...
I had been feeling wonderful. Despite the job loss, the next job with their unethical procedures, six months of unemployment and the stress of a new job in a totally different career, I felt good. I was meditating, walking, immersing myself in my small business which all gave me joy. I felt that my attitude was positive and I was looking at all that happened as leading me towards something greater.
And my then my hair fell out...
It started last November. I had very long hair, it was straight, but very full. I was always finding my hair all of the house, but this was different. Groups of hair were coming out together in my hands in the shower. They never did that before. There was always a bunch of them, but they traveled alone. It just didn't seem right. I just had a complete blood workup at the end of October and I was tested for thyroid imbalance since it runs in my family. It was normal.
I let things slide through the Christmas holiday because I was just so busy. I thought I would be ok, but the hair continued to fall. I made an appointment with my primary care physician in January and had her take a look. The first question she asked was if I was under stress. I said yes. Even though I felt like I was handling it all well, I knew the circumstances over the past year were stressful. I thought it was interesting that it was the first thing she asked.
We looked over my blood work and I talked to her about my age (47) and peri-menopause (you know I googled every combination of "hair loss" on the internet prior to my appointment). She wrote up an order to get a hormonal blood workup and suggested that if it was normal (which she suspected it would be), that I should make an appointment with a dermatologist so they could look at the hair under a microscope.
Yup, the blood work was normal. So on to the dermatologist. I made the appointment but it was going to take a few months to get in. I must have lost a dozen or so hairs just thinking about it. Knowing this probably was stress did not quell it. Thinking about my hair falling out because I couldn't relax, made me worry about it more. I needed to stop this! More angst, and another twenty strands fall to the floor...
A month went by and it was becoming noticeable. I was losing my bangs. I was losing tons of hair at the top of my crown. It was falling out everywhere. And then another realization, I was losing it all over my body. I should be happy I don't need to shave my legs, but honestly it made me cry. My eyebrows were thinning, my eyelashes fell out in excess. I felt embarrassed and stressed.
So as I await the dermatologist, I'm doing a little reflection. I told myself that I was meditating and practicing gratitude, but was I really? I took a look in my gratitude journal, and there were huge gaps up to ten days in between writing. I tried to meditate every day, but there were days I was "too busy" and skipped. I wasn't eating the healthiest I could be (not even close) and I wasn't exercising with any type of consistency.
My next blog will be about my trip to the dermatologist! Wish me luck!
In Gratitude,
Kerri Mulhern
www.suitablegifts.com
No comments:
Post a Comment