LOVE Monday? Yes you can!

TGIF! Friday is the most celebrated of days. We all can't wait to get there. Wednesday has been deemed hump day, since we are so glad we are getting close to the beloved weekend. But what about poor Monday? Often Monday is the wrath of the most unflattering commentary, whether it's posted on Facebook or shamed in the office on Monday morning.  Poor Monday is the most unappreciated of days.

I think it's time to look at marvelous Monday in a whole new light. It's time to LOVE Monday! For the past month, I've been posting on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram a #LOVEmonday photo and commentary. I have noticed the beauty of creating a rainbow while watering the grass, finding a heart shaped piece of watermelon in a pre-sliced container, a heart shaped out of a jump rope that one of the neighborhood kids left on my front lawn, and more! There is so much to notice, and since I've started this, I'm noticing more love on Monday and every day.  

This project began for me when I walked into my home office on a Monday morning (yes, with a hint of dread, I'll admit it). What I found were two small water fountains sitting on my desk and filing cabinet. They were flowing and so peaceful to behold.  They were placed there, unbeknownst to me, Sunday night from my youngest son. He left for school that morning without saying a word, just so I would be surprised by this gesture. Pure LOVE on a Monday morning! I was so touched, I felt so blessed. I certainly wanted to hold on to that feeling, and to share it also.

Monday doesn't have to mean drudgery, or the start of a long, miserable, draining week. It truly is in our hands (through our minds and hearts) how the week will unfold.  Taking small steps like this, creates a snowball effect of seeing and feeling more loving things. The more you focus on something, the more you see it. You can chose to focus on the dreaded Monday, or celebrate it by noticing all of the good things in the day. 

What will you notice this coming Monday: a new bud opening up on your rose bush, a beautiful butterfly stopping by your bird bath for a drink, the look of accomplishment on your child's face as she finally figures out that math problem? Whatever it is, take a picture or write it down. Keep a journal or a folder on your iPhone of the things you notice.  When you start to feel down or frustrated, look at what a reminder of LOVE you have created for yourself to pick you back up again. And the added benefit to this is, when you begin to feel more loving towards Monday, those around you will too.  It may make all of the days of the week seem a bit lighter and brighter for everyone.

Share with us how you LOVE Monday! Add a comment below, and send us a picture on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook anytime! We would love to share what you LOVE too!

With Gratitude,

Kerri

Suitable Gifts

Twitter: @suitablegifts

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Love And A Lizard

What do you see when you look at the one you love? Is your attention on what they didn't do, how they didn't say the right thing, or is your focus on who they really are? Do you ever step back and really look at them?

I was coming in the house from food shopping, arms weighed down with too many grocery bags, when I noticed a lizard (well, actually  gecko) on the ground. It was so cold out and rainy. The wind was pounding against me, causing my hair to fly all over the place and stick to my face. I walked into the kitchen, dumped the bags on the counter, and  told my husband about the cute lizard who was blending in so well with the wet sidewalk, that I almost stepped on him.  

Awhile later I went outside to bring out the recycles and the lizard was still there. He was motionless.  I told my husband about him, and he came outside to look.  He thought maybe one of the stray cats in the neighborhood killed him. He reached down and gently picked up his lifeless body.  He brought him inside to our living room and cupped his hands around the tiny creature to warm him.

I was sitting on the couch and looking up at him standing there, caring for this lizard, and I was just in awe of him. Have you had those moments, where you look at someone and you just see such beauty, their true essence? I do believe that the core of all of us is love, and there it was right in front of me to behold.  It was a beautiful moment, and he didn't even realize how beautiful it was because he was just being kind, being himself, and not aware of the magic I was witnessing. I was grateful for that moment, it was spiritual, it was love.  Little by little the lizard came back to life, his cold dark eyes became bright and clear, he became more and more active, all because of a caring soul. 

Those magical moments are happening all the time, but we can get so conditioned to focus on what's wrong, what's missing, that we miss so much of what's right.  What makes you love a person anyway? Is it how often they take out the trash, or is it their loving nature? And how often do we allow ourselves to appreciate our own loving nature?  Do we notice it enough in our children, friends, family, and even strangers?  

Step  by step we can bring more of those moments into our awareness.  Decide to review your day only choosing the kind and loving moments. Journaling is a great way to instill this more positive view, and on those difficult days, it's a positive reminder to look back at and review. Remember the pure joy your child experienced playing with the family dog, the kindness you displayed letting someone squeeze into your lane during rush hour, your husband who sent you an "I love you" text just because, the stranger who said hello while you went on your morning walk. It's happening constantly, but we get wrapped up in stress, work, the cell phone, and the million tasks running through our minds every day.  But how much nicer is life, when our focus is witnessing and participating in being kind, and being loving?

With a little bit of time and practice, the majority of your view towards yourself and others will be of love, because in truth, love is really all there is.

With Gratitude,

Kerri

Make Your Office Feel Like Om

"Meditation is not a way of making your mind quiet. It's a way of entering into the quiet that's already there buried under the 50,000 thoughts the average person thinks every day." ~Deepak Chopra

My decision to meditate was for the health benefits, to have a sense of calm, to get closer to my source.  I definitely achieved what I was looking for, but there was an added benefit...unbounded creativity! I knew meditation would give me peace, but it would help in my work day as well. 

You can't do it wrong, so don't even think that you need to go to the mountain tops in solitude to achieve a higher state of awareness.  With practice, you can live from that awareness all of the time.  Start with something simple: your breath.  Surely you can devote 10 minutes to give this beautiful gift to yourself.  Find a quiet space, set your cell phone timer to ten minutes. Get in a comfortable position (sitting up, laying down, whatever works for you), close your eyes, and focus on your breath.  When your mind starts to wander, refocus on your breath. When the timer goes off, you've just finished meditating!  How simple is that? There are more ways to meditate, but this is a great way to start.  Little by little, it will get easier to quiet the chatter in your head. Little by little you will become more relaxed. And more and more this feeling will stay with you throughout your day. 

I've used several aids to help with meditation.  Sometimes I sit quietly and recite a mantra when my mind wanders, such as: Om or Sat, Chit, Ananda (Existence, Consciousness, Bliss). I've thoroughly enjoyed the Deepak Chopra and Oprah 21 Day Meditation series (these are 3 week series that are free!) Visit: 21 Day Meditation. The first CD I ever used was Dr. Wayne Dyer's "Getting In The Gap." It is a very easy way to understand finding the quiet space between your thoughts, by reciting the first ten words of the "Our Father" prayer very slowly. Between each word is the "gap," and it is there that calm and peace reside. 

There are meditations for manifesting as well. By creating an intention (or several) before you meditate, it is a way to bring more positive things into your life (It just makes sense to focus on what you want, instead of what you don't want!) I've made a list of "I am's" including all of things I intend to create in my life. For example: I am calm, I am peace, I am financially abundant, I am successful in my career, etc. Before meditating, I read my list so I set the intention for my meditation. You can be as specific as you want to be with your intentions. A fantastic CD I have used for this is Wayne Dyer's I Am Wishes Fulfilled Meditation. Another CD I've used is Doreen Virtue's Angel Therapy Meditations. It is a beautiful CD with kind, loving thoughts to relax by. 

My goal is to meditate twice a day.  First is in the morning when I wake up, or just before I start my work day. There have been times that I have meditated during lunchtime, and it is quite refreshing. What I have noticed is that the "gap" brings ideas, pictures, solutions.  It has been amazing to me how many creative ideas have popped into my head during meditation.  I'm not looking for them, or struggling.  I'm just trying to be in the present moment, and it all comes pouring in. I'm sure everyone has a different outcome from meditation, but I am very grateful for this one. When my meditation is finished, I write down the ideas that presented themselves and use them in my business. What has been so enlightening is that I don't have to struggle or stress. The most creative and inspiring ideas come to me when I relax and allow it. It's so very simple, I don't know why we complicate it so much.  We have the power to do anything right inside us, we just need to remember it. 

If there is something going on at work that you haven't been able to solve, set an intention that the answer will come to you.  Relax and meditate without expectation.  You may be pleasantly surprised that soon (perhaps later after meditation) the answer will present itself to you. Allowing yourself to relax can do wonders for mind, body and soul!  If you are having a stressful day at work, the kind where you just can't think straight, take ten minutes. Close the door if you can, take a lunch break and sit in your car. Close your eyes, focus on your breath.  Just stepping away from the situation for a few minutes can make a huge impact on how you feel, and on how much better you can accomplish your task.

When I use the CD's at night, it is a blissful way to fall asleep.  And it is also very helpful to end the day with positive intentions instead of reliving all of the things that may have gone wrong in the day, or worries about tomorrow.  Staying present and being grateful are wonderful ways to close out the day. It has also been a beautiful gift I have shared with my children.  School, peer pressure and all of the difficulties of growing up can be soothed just by taking a little time each day to be still. 


So why not give it a try? What do you have to lose besides stress, anger, and worry? Gaining peace and calm alone will make your work day (and the rest of your life) better!

Namaste.

With gratitude,
Kerri

Irritable Boss Syndrome

 

 

The Symptoms

Are you suffering from any of the following symptoms:

Lack of Sleep                                                                                        Yes   No

Panic driving to work.                                                                            Yes   No

Feelings of worthlessness?                                                                   Yes   No

Sudden drop in  self esteem?                                                               Yes   No

Frequent desire to punch a hole in the wall of your cubicle?                Yes   No

If you’ve answered Yes to one or more of these questions, you could be suffering from IBS (Irritable Boss Syndrome).

 

It is a wonder how we can be fully functioning adults, able to maintain successful relationships, raise children, and function in society, yet in the one area that we spend the largest amount of time, our confidence can plummet with one razor tongued barb from a thoughtless boss.

Your friends would never suspect that you were so inept (as your boss so frequently points out).  Your husband wouldn’t leave you near the stove if he knew how careless you were (much less alone with the children!).  There goes Champ sprinting towards the kennel right now!

The Cause
Clearly something has caused a shift to your equilibrium if you are now at the point where you have forgotten how truly capable, intelligent and valuable you are.

IBS is a rising epidemic plaguing the country and is perpetuated by the Irritable Boss. It can manifest itself in many forms:

1. Jeckyll and Hyde- This type of boss is completely unpredictable. You don’t know what you are walking into on a daily, and sometimes hourly basis.  One day is nice boss, the other is mean boss and there is no rhyme or reason to it.

2. The Beast- Enjoys to embarrass team members in front of co-workers and even clients. It is more important for them to look good even at the expense of their own employees. It's not a team effort to them, it's a ME ME ME effort.

3. The Narcissist- Flaunts her wealth- expensive jewelry and furs or he flaunts his boy toys, corporate jets, yachts while complaining that the company isn’t making enough money. The narcissist only cares about how good they look, and how much money you can bring into the company, so they can spend it on themselves.

4. Power trip- creates projects just because he/she can. There doesn't appear to be an innate value in the assignment, it is obviously created out of a need to keep their ego inflated.

A combination of any of the above can lead to ABS- Abusive Boss Syndrome.  This is highly toxic and treatment is required immediately.

There are wonderful bosses out there.  Those that encourage, inspire and want you to succeed as much as they do.   But there are those who are insecure, feel threatened, or are just plain mean!

The Irritable Boss doesn’t want to hear that you are overwhelmed. When someone else takes notice of your mile high stack of work, while you are rocking in full fetal position in the corner, the Irritable Boss will be forced to inquire: “Why didn’t you ask for help?” Comments and reviews are often negatively fueled with personal comments rather than professional.  Your time is not valued.

The Side Affects:

When IBS strikes, there can be many side affects which can spread far beyond your own body:

1. Lack of sleep/Pit in Stomach

2.  Stress

3.  Moodiness/Depression

4.  Illness

5.  Your home starts to look as unkempt as you now do.

6.  You are too stressed to give your kids the attention they need.

7.  Spouse- we know the spouse gets affected the hardest with this affliction! They may conduct an intervention for your sake, and theirs!

The Cure:

The ideal remedy is to have the Irritable Boss removed entirely, but this is not always an option. (especially if the boss is running the company, and there is no higher up to go to).

Do:

1. Document specific incidents.

2. If possible, talk to the Irritable Boss directly in a positive manner to see if changes can be made.

3. Talk to HR or higher ups. You need to report it for anyone to help you.

4. Remover yourself from the IB by moving to a different department.

5. Find a new job. You can do it! It's easier to find a job while you have a job. Find some recruiters and have them do the work for you.

6. Don’t let one person define you. It is easy to start questioning yourself but no one deserves to be treated with disrespect or abuse (in any area of their life).

7. Vent (but not to co-workers. This can easily travel through the office, and you could be seen as a complainer or gossiper. You need to rise above the situation and be professional, even if the Irritable Boss isn’t.

8. Relax. Find ways to blow off steam.  Before you go into work- stretch, meditate, take deep breaths. At lunch time, go for a walk, get a 10 minute massage.  Exercise is a great stress buster too, so if you have time, work out!

Remember, you can’t control your Irritable Boss, but it doesn’t have to control you.  You can control how you respond to it with lots of practice.

Don’t:

1. Don’t send anything negative via email. Big brother is watching, and companies can access  your email anytime they need to.

2. Don’t gossip or talk negatively about your Irritable Boss. It may be tempting to commiserate, but it can backfire, and make you look like the bad egg.

3. Don't take this personally.  The root cause of the Irritable Boss varies, but most of their actions are due to lack of self esteem or trouble in their own personal life.  It's amazing that someone who feels badly about themselves wants to make someone else feel worse.  It never helps to judge someone else's motives, because we don't have the opportunity to walk in someone else's shoes.  Whatever has caused them to be an IB has nothing to do with you. How someone treats you is their business, how you react is yours. I repeat, don't take it personally.

 

How To Avoid A Recurrence:

There is no “perfect” job. We are not perfect, but we have the right to be respected.

Find out what is causing you to feel the most vulnerable, and solve it. You need to feel strong no matter what the outcome is with the IB.

Empower yourself by:

1. Going back to school. If there was something you always wanted to do or study...make it a reality!  "You are never to old to be what you might have been." -George Eliot

 

2. Update your resume. Notice how many skills you have, there are plenty of companies that would appreciate you!

 

3. Declutter. This may sound obscure, but actually organizing your closets, files, clothes will give you a sense of peace and focus.  You can donate your extra items, or have a yard sale.

3. Save money. Pay off bills.  Getting out of debt makes your feel more secure, less vulnerable. Having extra money in the bank helps quite a bit too, so save, save, save!

4. Don’t make your job your whole life. You are at work a large portion of your time, but it doesn't have to be all that you are. Spend time with family, friends, hobbies, sports activities, anything that makes you feel like you!

 

5. Find your inner peace.  Some people find peace in church, in a garden, going for a walk on the beach, through meditation, prayer or yoga. Find what works for you.  Having a quiet place in your mind can make all the difference!

 

I hope you haven't had an experience with Irritable Boss Syndrome, but if you have, these suggestions should help you make a full recovery!  You are beautiful, smart, and wonderful, now and always!

 

With Gratitude,

 

Kerri

www.suitablegifts.com

 

 

It's Never Too Late To Grow

"It's never to late to be what you might have been."- George Eliot

Never have those words rung truer for me than in recent months.  Everything seems to be transforming before my eyes. My business is growing  and thriving, new ideas seem to be bursting forth from all over, new doors are opening.

OK, so where does the plant picture come in, you are probably asking...

I noticed it the other day.  I've been noticing many things lately, now that I have shifted my way of thinking.  I have had this plant for years, it was always tiny, never growing. Two small leaves, nothing more. It hung in there, but it just never grew.  I never expected it to grow.  And now, it's growing! Why now? Why all of a sudden did it decide to bloom?

It is so parallel to the journey I have been on, and I can see so clearly that it is never too late to grow, to change, to be what you are meant to be!  The whole planet is alive, and it is remarkable that even a plant can be my teacher! I can't say what motivated this plant to finally express itself, but it has been a nice surprise.  Maybe it's because I never gave up on it, maybe it never gave up on itself. I nurtured this tiny plant and when it was ready...it was ready!!!

My personal journey has been the same.  I never really knew what I wanted to do.  I remember in high school trying to figure our where to go to college, what to study.  I had no idea what my purpose or my passion was.  I always felt disappointed in myself that I didn't know what it was. I felt so much pressure to figure it out. Now that I'm in my 40's, I feel like I am finally getting there!

I've realized that I didn't need to figure it out. I needed to relax and let it unfold. Taking the time to be still, meditate and open up my heart, life has revealed itself to me.  This journey is still unfolding, but I'm growing, and blooming and enjoying life every step of the way. It's not about getting to a specific point, but rather being present in the moment, being kind, compassionate, helpful, seeing myself in others, being grateful and learning not to judge myself or others.  I've learned that what I put out into the world, comes right back at me, so I do my best to put love out there and I see it return so beautifully.

In the past when I expected stress, financial difficulty, lack...that's all that surrounded me. It has been fascinating to realize that the more I quiet my mind, the more creative ideas come flowing. The more that I expect abundance in my life, the more it appears. It is all so much easier than I thought it was supposed to be.  It's all here, everything we want, we just need to let it in, and know we are worthy.

With gratitude,
Kerri